Why do I even bother asking my kid to find anything?
Why?
Nothing ever good comes from it.
Never mind that the items I’m asking my 5-year-old to locate belong to her.
Her mittens, her scarf, her boots, her socks, her backpack, her library book…
Why?
Why do I waste precious time, energy and oxygen lecturing her about responsibility and being conscientious about her belongings? Why do I rant about creating a system whereby she places her winter gear in the same exact spot each day, so she can find them in that exact spot each day?
After all, this is the same kid, who since birth, calls out my name when she can’t find anything that is not attached to her body… and even some that are.
When she was four years old my daughter let out a blood-curdling scream while I was in the shower. I have never been so startled in my life. I sprang from the tub NAKED and bolted out to the living room half expecting to see her little body bloodied, bruised or buried under a book shelf. Turns out she was in perfect health, but she couldn’t find her favorite fairy wings.
I stood in the middle of the living room dripping wet, buck naked, and reminded her that they were exactly where she put them before I went into the bathroom… on her BACK!
“Oh yeah!” she exclaimed reaching back to caress the silky appendages.
“Oh yeah,” I mumbled as I slunk back to the shower wondering how long it would take for the soaked carpet to dry.
My daughter’s pediatrician assures me that my precious peanut doesn’t need glasses.
Really?
Well how do you explain her inability to find a TV remote that’s sitting three inches from her face?
My daughter’s doctor also tells me that my kid has excellent hand-eye coordination and that her reflexes are remarkably acute for someone her age.
Is that a fact?
Well, how is it that this same child cannot use those healthy arms to lift up a single blanket, pillow, article of clothing, or stuffed animal to find a missing toy?
Instead of exercising her arm and leg muscles my daughter chooses to exercise her vocal cords to scream, “MOOOOOOMMMYYY!!” when an object of her desire doesn’t magically spring from its resting spot and land in her arms.
Given this consistent pattern of behavior why, why do I even bother asking my kid to find anything?
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