For many people, getting married means starting a family, and that includes children. For others, becoming a couple is family enough. This may seem curious to some and there are plenty of people who won’t hesitate to ask a couple why they don’t wish to have children and even some that think they can convince the couple otherwise.
The decision not to have children is a private matter. It’s really no one else’s business. Think of it in terms of asking people about other intimate aspects of their marriage. There are many reasons people don’t choose to have kids, and they don’t owe anyone an explanation.
State of the World
You’ve certainly heard people say, “Why would anyone want to bring a child into the world as it is today?” Some people firmly believe that with all the current turmoil, it isn’t wise to have children.
Health Issues
Health concerns can run the range from infertility to disability or chronic illness, to fears of not being strong enough or living long enough to raise a child. Also, someone who requires a great deal of medication or care may not have much left physically, emotionally, or financially to give a child.
Emotional Issues
People who did not have a good childhood or good adult role models sometimes fear that they won’t be good parents. Another point is if they had abusive parents and those parents are still living. They may not wish to expose their children to their parents.
Enjoying Life and Each Other
There are people who simply want to enjoy their spouses, their lives, their careers, and be independent. They can decide to take a trip or buy a great car or anything else without worrying about how it will affect their children and without worrying about saving for college funds, etc. People are entitled to their own pursuit of happiness, and not everyone feels the need to have children in order to feel fulfilled in life.
*Certainly, there are many other reasons, but whatever the reason, no one should be made to feel defensive about such personal choices. If a couple decides not to have children, understand that they have their reasons, and that the decision does not include anyone outside the marriage. This is sometimes difficult for friends, relatives, and in-laws to accept, but it is important that we respect other people’s decisions as well as their right to privacy.
Busy Bodies or People Who Care?