Can self-control be a bad thing? According to a recent scientific study, apparently it can. Can empathizing with others be a bad thing? Again experts have decided it apparently can be. What do you think?
Well, I’m going to have to disagree on this. It seems to me, that too often the problems in marriages are caused by selfishness and lack of self-control rather than by self control and empathizing with our spouse. If each of us stopped and thought before we spoke, we might decide not to say what we’d been going to, because we’d realize how much it would hurt the other person. We might think about a way of rephrasing the words, so it would not be so offensive and hurtful. If we imagined ourselves on the receiving end of such words it might color our view of how or even if they should be said.
If we exercised self-control rather than selfishness in our marriages, we would not be as concerned with our rights as we are with seeking to make our spouse happy and looking after their rights. We would not be looking at what we could get out of a relationship but what we could bring t it, what we could give.
If we exercised self-control, we would be thankful for the good qualities of our spouse and overlook the faults and not make them into major issues. We would try and improve the relationship we have and not let our eyes stray to others or what might have been. We would value our spouse and let them know they are valued. We’d see maintaining and protecting our marriage as more important than the accumulation of things.
Does this sound idealistic? Perhaps. But a little idealism is not such a bad thing. Neither is a positive attitude. So let’s try and maintain a positive attitude in our marriages and also an element of self control. You might be surprised at the difference it will make to you marriage.
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