Have you ever been told that your spouse should be put before your children? Do you think that is even possible?
I used to believe that was impossible. I looked at my relationship with my children as being so much more connected because they had come from me. Yet I had forgotten that I wasn’t alone in the process of creating life. My husband is just as much connected to them.
I also thought that because they were so little for so long, what they needed from me couldn’t possibly be less than what I would give to my husband. Their needs were beyond his needs. Yet I didn’t realize that it had less to do with quantity of time and more to do with quality.
Now that we have children beginning to venture toward adulthood, I have a new perspective on things and a new understanding about the importance of putting my spouse before my children. In just over a year our oldest son will be an adult. My other two are trailing behind but it is a stark reminder that one day, it will be just my husband and I.
When you haven’t prepared for that stage in life, it can be quite a shocking experience. So you start preparations by learning how to put your spouse before your children. One day they will leave your home but you will have your spouse (hopefully) until the day you die.
Remember, it’s not about quantity as much as it is about quality. We all know that children consume much of our time. Although it becomes less as they get older, it is still part of life. So even though it feels like you can’t possibly put your spouse before them, you have to think about the quality of your time together as a couple.
If your time together is always spent arguing or in some type of disagreement, you aren’t working toward that day when it will be just the two of you. So you put your spouse before your children when you determine to make the most of the moments you do have.
My husband and I go out frequently on a date night. Granted, it is much easier now that our children are older but we still tried to do that as much as we could when they were younger.
We also try to settle matters as quickly as possible and before they get out of hand. We don’t want an argument to linger for days on end.
We meet each other’s needs and show love to each other in a variety of ways, including through our words and actions. We appreciate and respect one another.
These are ways that we really do put each other before the children. Then one day when the children are gone, we won’t have to look at each other and say, “Now what?”
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