Time to Take Stock

As we start a new year it is a good time to take stock. One area each of us needs to take stock is in our choices. Are the choices you are making hindering your marriage? Are you making the choice to put all your energies into work and career, so that you and your spouse have little time together? Recently I heard of a young couple who are expecting their second child. Yet the husband will not be around either for a while before, or when, the child is born. He has plans to be away for months with … Continue reading →

Marrying Someone of Another Faith

Yesterday we looked at the trend of people becoming involved or marrying those from other faith. What causes people to enter into a relationship with someone of another faith? Sometimes it can be they are not sure enough in the own faith of what they believe and why. If they were they would possibly not be so ready to become involved with someone from outside their faith. Or maybe they see it as an opportunity to convert the other person to their faith? Maybe they need to consider would I be ready to convert? If I won’t, why should they? … Continue reading →

Average Length of Marriages

Mary Ann posed an interesting question on a recent article, about the average length of marriages these days. It’s hard to track down exact statistics as there are so many variables, but here are a few things I found will give an idea of the length of the average marriage. In the United Kingdom in 2003, out of 153490 divorces, 40,599 divorces occurred during the first 5-9 years time frame. The next biggest number was between 10-14 years 29,831 and 20,923 in the 15-19 years period. What is interesting is the number that ends up in divorce after only 0-2 … Continue reading →

Remember What You Contracted For

When you sign a contract, whether to buy a house or a car or an item on hire purchase there are certain things both parties agree to do. Once the contract is signed, both parties are required buy law to adhere to it. When we get married we also sign a contract. We contract to love, honor and cherish, or obey, depending on the version of your marriage service. We contract that we will keep on loving each other and being committed to each other for better ‘for better or worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health,’ … Continue reading →

The Big Snip

Vasectomy, the very word strikes fear into the heart of some men. ‘No way!’ many men say, ‘anyone’s giving me the snip.’ They seem to equate such an operation with a loss of manhood. It’s okay for women to take the pill, or use other forms of contraception or even have their tubes tied if the couple has reached the decision that no more children is the best option, but no way anyone is getting near them for any operation. On the other hand I heard a male minister say one time if it was the best and safest option … Continue reading →

Many Women Cannot Remember

Many women today cannot remember a time when the contraceptive pill was not available. I’m one of them. The pill has been around for longer than I have been married. May 9, Mothers Day was the 50 year anniversary of the day the contraceptive pill became available. From that time, couples had more choice in when they fell pregnant and the number of children they have. Yet even in the 1960s, the pill was still illegal in some states of America. It took till 1965 before a high court ruled that it was not up to the government to interfere … Continue reading →

Mortgage Over Relationship

In an article I saw the average size of mortgages in Australia had hot an all time high. The average loan was for $367,000. My mind can’t even comprehend a loan that size or how you’d repay it. That’s more than our whole house cost! In December last year it was reported Australia had overtaken USA as the country building the largest houses. The trend is towards a family room, home theatres, parent’s retreats etc. The average size of the Aussie home according to experts is now 215 square meters which translates to around 23 square feet. But that’s the … Continue reading →

The Way You Treat Your Spouse

The way you treat your spouse can affect more than your spouse. It could affect the next generation and even future generations. One marriage quote I like and can really see the sense of is ‘Don’t worry that children never listen to you; worry that they are always watching you,’ Robert Fulghum. And this one : ‘The most important thing a father can do for his children is to love their mother,’ Theodore Hesburgh You and you spouse can influence each other’s character a little as you live together. It is even truer that as parents we can have a … Continue reading →

Essentials for a Happy Lasting Marriage -Part 2

Yesterday I looked at five essentials for a happy lasting marriage. Today I am continuing with another five essentials. 6. Forgiveness Married life isn’t always go to go along smoothly. We all do things wrong and things that hurt or upset our spouse. It’s how we choose to deal with those things that is important. We can hold grudges and sulk but it never achieves anything, or we can choose to forgive them and move on. Forgiveness doesn’t just happen. It is a choice, a decision of willingness to forgive. The old adage about not going to bed angry is … Continue reading →

Essentials for Happy Lasting Marriage

Here are my first five essentials for a happy lasting marriage. Last night as Mick and I played a game of Settlers of Catan, I was thinking about our marriage and thinking about how far we’ve come over our more than 40 years of marriage from that young couple that started out together. So here are a few of my essentials. 1. Love Love is the obvious starting point. But not the wishy washy excuse for love we see on movie and TV screens. And not just lust or chemical attraction which also gets portrayed often but a real concern … Continue reading →