Happiness in the Moment

I dread the holidays all year long, not because I don’t like them, but because they inevitably bring confrontation as my ex and I struggle to decide who gets Logan and who doesn’t. No matter what someone is missing their little boy and it tends to be a touchy subject for both of us. Believe it or not I’ve actually been dreading it since about the day after Christmas last year. I worried and fretted about it and wondered what would happen as we tried to coordinate everyone’s schedules so that Logan was able to see as much of his … Continue reading →

Co Parenting- The Right Thing, But Not The Easiest Thing

Today, more and more, divorced parents are working really hard to co parent their children. Even if we don’t particularly like our ex we realize how important it is for our child to have both parents in their lives. So we co parent, and it really is the best thing for our children but it doesn’t just magically happen. You have to work at co parenting, with someone you couldn’t work at marriage with. Initially it’s important to sit down and talk about your co parenting strategy. This may be hard, but it is necessary. Remember, this is about the … Continue reading →

Custody Disputes That End In Tragedy

When custody of your children is being decided after a divorce it can be the most emotional time in your life. No one wants to live without their children. In many cases both parents are involved, loving, supportive parents, regardless of the reasons their marriage ended. And both want and believe they deserve custody of the children. Sometimes custody battles result in one parent taking their life and the lives of their children. Recently we were witness to that with the Powell children, their father killed himself and both of the boys in an explosion because, as he said- he … Continue reading →

Who Gets Custody

Do you know what the custody laws are in your state? I didn’t know when I got divorced. My attorney drew up everything and I signed it. Fortunately he was on my side and the custody was in my best interests. I didn’t give the laws much thought but read recently that here in Utah they are trying to have a statement added to our divorce statute saying that the court may not discriminate against a parent based on age, race, color, national origin, religious preference or gender. Really? In 2012 we are having to add this to our law? … Continue reading →

A New Way To Create a Family

We certainly live in interesting times. The traditional family is not what it used to be and we’ve adjusted. Now someone has come up with a new way to be a family. It’s called Modamily. It’s like a dating website but instead of going there to find your life partner you build a profile in order to find someone with the goal of having and co parenting a child together without the normal formalities. Is it just me or is this a little strange? I know there are women who choose to become single mothers for many reasons, maybe they … Continue reading →

Life is Not Fair

You hear stories all the time about dead beat dads, but what about those fathers who try and get nothing? I know so many men who try to do the right thing for their children after a divorce but still are not allowed to see their children. I knew that if a father did not financially support his children he could get in trouble, anything from having his license revoked to jail time. What I didn’t know is that there is no similar punishment for a mother who does not honor the custody visitation agreement. At least where I live … Continue reading →

Parental Alienation Syndrome

I have seen many couples break up and use their children as pawns during arguments and custody battles. Too often, I hear one parent bad-mouth the other parent in front of the children. I have to admit, I have been guilty of the latter. I do make a conscientious effort not to do this, but I’m human, and it does happen from time to time. If this badmouthing occurs frequently, and is causing the child and other parent to have a poor relationship, it may be a condition known as parental alienation syndrome. Parental alienation syndrome occurs when one parent … Continue reading →

The Importance of a Will for Single Parents

The single most important thing that a single parent can do to protect his or her child’s future is to execute a will. Although we want to think that we will be around for our children, it is important to choose a guardian for them in the event of our demise. The subject came up for me when my son was only a few months old. A discussion developed due to a family member being mentally unstable. I told my family that I wanted to make sure that my son would never be placed in the care of an unstable … Continue reading →

Single Parenting: Single Parent Television Dads

When you speak of single parenting what is your first thought? Most of you would say that your first thought is that of a woman raising her kids alone. It is true, the mother heads 84% of single parent families. There is a small group, however, of custodial single parent dads. Approximately 16% of single parents raising their children are dads. I think that they should be recognized too. I am sure that there are many more dads who would love to raise their children, but for different reasons this does not happen. For every dad who takes an active … Continue reading →

A Death in the “Other Family”

Even though we may be separated or divorced from our child’s other parent, most of us single parents are not ever completely separated from our ex in-laws or the “other” family. After all, these people are often still involved with our children and they are part of our children’s lives even if they do not really feel like they are part of ours. When there is a death in our children’s other family, it can be challenging and confusing for us as to what our role is and how to help our children deal with the loss and grief. Our … Continue reading →