The pattern of marriage changes when offspring leave home and go off to college. Suddenly the married couple is back to a twosome, that’s assuming they’ve managed to stay together throughout all the other phases. Statistics tell us many do not make it this far. Others break up once family is gone.
Sadly, many couples find when they finally get back to being a twosome that they have lost each other somewhere in the process and no longer have anything in common. This is why it is so important through all the earlier years and phases of marriage to keep the lines of communication open. Couples also need to have made and valued time together.
I found it hard when because of Mick’s job moving from Sydney to Orange, away, we were separated from our son. I’m not good at letting go. At that stage we still had our daughter with us. When she left home, it was hard too as she ended up on a GAP year over the other side of the world. All this, after she had been seriously ill and nearly died only months before. Prayer and God’s intervention saved her. Watching her get on that plane was one of the hardest things I have ever done.
Yet, despite all the worry about her, phone calls, emails and stress, it was nice to be a couple again.
Before he retired I had many women telling me how dreadful it would be, having him under my feet all the time and no time to myself. This has hasn’t been the case. We cherish the time we have together but also enjoy and occupy ourselves independently, him with gardening, music, and other hobbies while I am writing etc.
The patterns in the kaleidoscope of marriage have changed over the years but the thing that hasn’t changed is our love for each other, this support and friendship that has seen us through good times and bad. He’s till the one I enjoy spending my time with and I am the one he enjoy spending time with.
As you’ve probably gathered Mick and I tend to talk about everything from how we feel about what’s happening in the world to trivial nonsense, to what’s happening on families.com and what I’m writing. And I’m thankful we do. He’s a great source of ideas. The kaleidoscope of marriage was another topic he suggested.
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