Charged with a Life Sentence

Ever have one of those moments where the light bulb in your head suddenly comes on?  You are given a revelation and you aren’t really sure if it was divine providence or just pure luck.

That happened to me last week when I was watching Dr. Phil.  I’m not exactly a junkie but I try to keep up on the shows that depict teen issues.  This time, however, I happened to be watching a show about marriage.

I can’t even recall what the specific issue was.  But Dr. Phil said something to the wife that really struck a chord.  He said with all her ability to remember everything her husband has done wrong, she has given him a life sentence.

In other words, there is no possible way he could redeem himself because she was choosing to punish him for a lifetime.  It didn’t matter if he made efforts to change; she was going to remind him of everything he had done wrong in the past.

Now I’m not nearly as bad about this as I used to be.  Yet it is still an issue that can creep up from time to time in our marriage.

I am frustrated about a current situation but instead of dealing with that, I bring up the past.  Suddenly words like, “You never” or “You always” fly out of my mouth.  Never and always are pretty strong words.

There was definitely a time in our marriage when my poor husband was serving a life sentence.  Were the things he did wrong?  If I were to share some of them, you would probably say yes.  But did it mean he deserved a life sentence?

The thing with a life sentence is that there is no chance of redemption.  No healing can take place.

Maybe its time to take your spouse out of the prison cell you have placed him or her in.  Have you charged your spouse with a life sentence?  Perhaps it’s time for a pardon.

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About Stephanie Romero

Stephanie Romero is a professional blogger for Families and full-time web content writer. She is the author and instructor of an online course, "Recovery from Abuse," which is currently being used in a prison as part of a character-based program. She has been married to her husband Dan for 21 years and is the mother of two teenage children who live at home and one who is serving in the Air Force.