You will often hear about “secrets” to a happy marriage. Personally, I don’t believe there is anything secret about having a happy marriage.
Most of what it takes is well known. In other words, we know what to do to have a happier marriage. The key is choosing to do those things.
So instead, let’s look at some old-fashioned commonsense ways to keep the marriage happy. We start with the understanding that your spouse will never be perfect.
Now most of us probably don’t really think that our spouse should be perfect. Yet we place expectations that are oftentimes unrealistic. We excuse our own flaws but can easily dwell on his or her imperfections.
Here is something else that is commonsense. Marriage changes over time. You grow older, you might have children, careers change and life keeps moving. In other words, nothing stays the same.
If you go into marriage recognizing this, you will be able to adapt much more easily. You learn to go with the flow.
Another commonsense approach to a happier marriage is the understanding that you need to spend time together. We live in a busy, fast-paced society. We tend to live very independent lives as well.
So it’s important to set aside time together. This means carving out time everyday to talk. It should also include date nights.
It is also commonsense that you can expect the marriage to have ups and downs. It won’t always feel like wedded bliss.
That’s because our spouse will disappoint us. He or she will hurt us. Things will be said that shouldn’t be. But you learn to forgive and move on.
It doesn’t mean you don’t address real problems in the marriage. But that’s just the point. Make sure you deal with them right away. Don’t let things bottle up.
The bottom line is that a happy marriage won’t feel that way 24/7. But isn’t this just commonsense?