In the third part of Compulsive Hoarding, I would like to discuss the strategies we employed in our attempt to positively retrain Daniel in his obsessive behaviors beyond the kitchen and his food issues.
Medications are available for the treatment of obsessive behavior. Because the symptoms are usually included in the categories of Attachment Disorder and Obsessive/Compulsive Disorder, some physicians prescribe meds (used to treat these specific disorders) to assist in minimizing the symptoms. Paul and I declined this resource of treatment. We felt in the beginning, and still maintain the logic, Daniel’s compulsive behavior was due to his circumstances in the past. We strongly believed it was fixable through affirmative retraining with consistent, positive reinforcement, and praise for appropriate actions.
After we felt Daniel had acceptably overcome his food hoarding, we moved from the kitchen into his personal area, the bedroom and specifically, his bed. He was hiding so many objects and clothing there, it was becoming impossible for him to sleep in any position but in a tight fetal ball. Hoarders don’t like to make wrong choices; they will avoid decision making to keep from making a mistake. Every decision can be overwhelming because a choice must be made. To discard or remove his belongings without his permission would not be productive. He would feel invaded and it would reinforce his past feeling of losing control. Because of his inability to make a decision, he was unable to filter through and organize his belongings.
I approached Daniel with the shared task of arranging his space in an orderly fashion. He was not receptive. I assured him we wouldn’t throw anything away that he wanted to keep. He relaxed only a little. We started slowly. Tempting as it was, I didn’t make it a “spring cleaning fling”. On our first attempt, we only rearranged a few things. I would pick up an object and ask him something specific about it. Does this belt work better for you in your dresser drawer, or hanging with your clothes? At first, everything worked better right where it was. In his opinion, all was well, nothing should be moved. We worked slowly and methodically. I gave valid reasons for storing certain possessions in better areas. If you put your shoes here, you won’t have to smell them while your sleeping (holding my nose-he giggles). If we move your pens and pencils to this container, I won’t have to take you to the ER for lead poisoning because the pencil poked you (wide eyed disbelief-considering the pain involved). Slowly the bed was cleared. It was more difficult than the kitchen hoarding. This hoarding was more deep rooted. With food, all he needed was consistent proof that hunger was a thing of the past. In the bedroom, he had a difficult time letting go of the security of belongings around him that would be there when he woke up, making him feel he had his own zone of safety. I used verbal strategy in the organizing process. We talked it out. Each item was given a thorough examination. In the beginning, if Daniel chose to keep it, it stayed. Since then, he has been able to discard a few really worthless things. He is feeling more comfortable with letting go. We have donated some of the toys he never plays with. The first toy he gave away took almost a year, but he did it, a BIG milestone for my little boy.
The following is a list Daniel and I used in deciding how important each possession was to him and where it belonged. This served as a good guideline in assisting him with make choices.
1. EVALUATE- I gave him all the room he needed in his decision making process. It was slow in coming but he eventually was capable of deciding the true worth of the object in question.
2. ORGANIZE- Finding an appropriate category for each item helped in deciding where it would go.
3. STORE- Daniel eventually allowed me to help him pack and store items he never used but decided they were valuable enough to keep.
4. RECYCLE- More difficult, but he was finally convinced that it would be a good thing to give away outgrown shoes and duplicate toys. I used the example of kids in shelters and he related well.
5. DISCARD- This was the hardest area to convince Daniel that it is okay to rid yourself of unneeded objects. He has thrown very little away, but he has done it. That is a major accomplishment for him.
I have assigned small weekly organizational tasks to Daniel. Reminders are necessary. He is still not comfortable with initiating this chore. He continues to have minor issues with organizing his “security pile”. However, Daniel has come a long way with his hoarding issues. With time and practice, he will overcome his insecurity and be able to maintain a clutter free environment. The obvious signs of progress are there.