In Part 1, I wrote about some sticky situations friends might put us in (knowingly or unknowingly). Ones that can cause dilemmas when deciding how to handle them. I promised my answers for what I would do, so here they are.
If a Friend Knew My Husband Was Cheating
Ideally, I’d like to have my spouse make the confession. So if my husband was cheating and a friend knew, I’d like the friend to confront Wayne and encourage him to tell me.
But if that didn’t happen, I’d want my friend to show me irrefutable proof. I would be the kind to deny Wayne would do such a thing. I’d get really mad at someone for making such an accusation unless I was shown proof.
If a Friend Knew I Was Cheating
Same goes for if the situation was reversed. I’d be really upset if a friend went to Wayne first instead of giving me a chance to fess up. I’d respect my friend more for encouraging me to tell Wayne about my affair rather than them doing it.
When a Friend Cheats
And if it was a matter of me knowing my friend was being unfaithful? I’d encourage them to tell their spouse.
But if they refused? Would I tell their spouse? Not sure. It’d depend on a lot of factors.
If I had lost all respect for my friend and didn’t care about the friendship anymore, I might tell. Because once you make a move like that odds are good your friendship’s over.
However, I’d be more likely to harp on my friend until they either got sick of it and dumped me or admitted their infidelity to their spouse.
When a Friend’s Spouse Makes a Pass
Trickier is how to approach the matter of someone’s spouse hitting on you.
In high school my best friend’s boyfriend made a pass at me. I immediately told her. He denied it and said I was just trying to cause problems. She believed him. I lost a friend.
And the guilt associated with having to tell Wayne about it all? I knew I’d done nothing wrong, but I worried he’d think I’d done something to provoke it all. Luckily he saw the friend’s boyfriend for what he was (a dog) and believed me.
Because of that situation, though (one I hope to never find myself in again, thank you very much), I’d be reluctant to speak up. I for sure would tell Wayne, but I don’t know how I’d tell my friend.
And I’d hope Wayne would tell me if he got hit on, but there is the matter of my jealous streak. He might be less than inclined to tell me for fear of how I’d react.
Questions to Readers
What would you do? Or, for those who have lived the hypothetical experience, what did you do?
Related Articles
An Affair Doesn’t Mean “The End”
Which is Worse: An Emotional Affair or a Physical One?
Can a Marriage Survive an Affair?
Do People Really Go Looking for an Affair?
What You Might Not Have Known About Affairs
The Psychology of Why Married Men Cheat, Part 1
The Psychology of Why Married Men Cheat, Part 2
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