Many of us feel pretty proud and protective of our family rituals. After all, they help bond and define our family as a special, unique entity and they give us ways to connect to one another. Have you ever stopped to think about whether or not you want or hope your child takes any of these rituals out into the world with him or her? Which family rituals did you bring into your current family with you from somewhere else?
Recently, my kids were sitting around talking about different memories from their childhood and inevitably, they started talking about family rituals. Since they are from a “divorced” parenting situation, they technically have two families and two different worlds that they move back and forth between. There are rituals that they like and dislike in both realms (yes, some of those rituals that we parents cherish may be ones that our children are not very fond of). They started talking about which ones they would like to keep when they have families of their own. One of my children turned to me and asked, “That’s alright isn’t it? You don’t mind if we take these things with us?” I had to chuckle as I had never really thought about it that way. I guess they needed my permission to either take what they liked or leave behind what they didn’t. I realized that I was going to have to detach myself a little in order for them to take ownership of some of our cherished family rituals.
Some rituals continue for generations while others tend to be very short-lived—they exist just within our little families for the time our children are little. I truly believe that longevity does not determine the quality of a family ritual, however, and whether they live on with my children and their families or not—they still have value to me!
See Also: Integrating Someone New into Family Rituals
The Importance of Family Traditions