I’m not talking about giving each other compliments. I’m talking about how you fit together. Yesterday I wrote about how Wayne and I are opposites, but not. Today I’m going to consider another side of the opposite’s coin.
Ying and Yang
Those familiar with Chinese philosophy know that ying and yang are opposite, but complementary, forces. I liked a few of the phrases in Wikipedia about ying and yang: “unity of opposites” and “two opposing and, at the same time, complementary (completing) aspects of any one phenomenon.”
Now there’s a concept begging to be dwelled upon.
“You Complete Me”
If that line sounds familiar it’s because I borrowed it from the movie Jerry Maguire. If you never heard it before, I suggest you watch the movie. Not only is it one of Cruise’s best, it’s a great example of the beauty of ying and yang in a relationship. (Not that I’m a big Tom Cruise fan, but it really was an endearing movie.)
The movie, like many real life romances, is about finding that special someone who brings out the best in you. Someone who infuses you with wholeness because they fill in all the gaps where you’re lacking.
A Visualization Exercise
To put it to you another way, picture your relationship as a key and a lock. Sometimes you’re the key and your partner’s the lock. Sometimes it’s the other way around. To make things easier, let’s use the example of you as the key.
When you stick yourself in your partner’s lock, you click. You move them. You loosen up all those little pins and whatsamajiggers and free them to open up. To unhinge themselves and be better than they would be if they stayed locked, and therefore shut up, stifled, and closed off. You allow them to open up to becoming all they could be.
His positive aspects align with your negative ones and vice versa. They don’t cancel each other out. They do join together to work in harmony, though. A lot like that key and lock example. When you come together, you unlock a whole new world of possibilities.
That’s a complimentary relationship. One that strikes the perfect balance and uses opposite forces to the best advantage.