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Don’t Call Your Wife Fat & Other No Brainers

Do you need an article on the things you shouldn’t say or call your spouse? After all, when it comes to looking at your wife or your husband and declaring in all seriousness – wow, you’re fat! It’s a running joke in our family that my husband is terrible at being supportive (he’s not, but he likes to joke that he is.) Part of the way he motivates is to tweak you – or me in this case.

For example, when I got curious about quilting and interested in doing it, my husband saw it as a sinkhole for money – especially if I didn’t do anything more with the project than buy fabric and more. I was using a friend’s sewing machine and when I mentioned it might be easier for me to finish the quilt I was working on with my own sewing machine, he quirked his lips and stated categorically: “if you can finish that quilt, we’ll talk, but since I don’t see you finishing it, I don’t want to waste money on a new sewing machine.”

You Can’t Do It

He told me I couldn’t do it, so of course, being the stubborn person that I am – I did do it. I love quilting now and it’s a fulltime hobby and I like to make quilts for my friends and for others. By the same token, when it came to working out and getting in shape, he didn’t want to be a partner in that because he was worried about his habit of tweaking.

You see, a few years ago, I was getting ready to go out somewhere and I was trying on a dress I hadn’t worn in a while. I wasn’t sure that it looked all right and I came out of the closet to show him the dress. He looked at me a long moment and then said in a very matter of fact voice when I asked what he thought – “Chunky Monkey!”

To say I was appalled would be to put it mildly – however the expression on his face when he realized what he said – that was hilarious. He was mortified, embarrassed and horrified all at once. I have no idea what emotion was the strongest at that point. He stammered out an apology and I started laughing. To this day, you can say the words chunky monkey and we both laugh about it. He claims that I never looked that bad in the dress, but I never did wear the dress again!

No Brainers

Be careful of what you say, but look for the humor in it as much as you can. It’s an obvious thing to say don’t call your wife fat – but then I think it would be obvious not to respond to your wife’s inquiry of how she looks in an outfit with chunky monkey too.

What no brainers have you oopsed on before?

Related Articles:

Little Habits Make Marriage Good

The Beauty of Mature Love

Unrealistic Expectations

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About Heather Long

Heather Long is 35 years old and currently lives in Wylie, Texas. She has been a freelance writer for six years. Her husband and she met while working together at America Online over ten years ago. They have a beautiful daughter who just turned five years old. She is learning to read and preparing for kindergarten in the fall. An author of more than 300 articles and 500+ web copy pieces, Heather has also written three books as a ghostwriter. Empty Canoe Publishing accepted a novel of her own. A former horse breeder, Heather used to get most of her exercise outside. In late 2004, early 2005 Heather started studying fitness full time in order to get herself back into shape. Heather worked with a personal trainer for six months and works out regularly. She enjoys shaking up her routine and checking out new exercises. Her current favorites are the treadmill (she walks up to 90 minutes daily) and doing yoga for stretching. She also performs strength training two to three times a week. Her goals include performing in a marathon such as the Walk for Breast Cancer Awareness or Team in Training for Lymphoma research. She enjoys sharing her knowledge and experience through the fitness and marriage blogs.