My experiences as a single parent negotiating through school institutions have taught me that I have to be the number one and only advocate for not just my children, but myself and my single parent family as well. Sure, I have met some great people and my kids have had some wonderful teachers—but I have also had to stand up to all sorts of judgment and preconceived stereotypes about what teachers and administrators thought of single parent families, kids from single parent families, and I have had to learn how to NOT get intimidated…
I think that what can happen for single parents is that we really need to have a team and a “village” to help us raise our children; we want to have trusted teachers and great schools because we know that we cannot be everywhere all at once. It can be tough then, to remember that ultimately we are the ones who are raising our child and we need to be at the forefront of keeping their best interest at heart. This means being able to stand up to those stereotypes and keep a balanced head on our shoulders when we are dealing with educational institutions.
When there are two parents, there is the possibility of being a united front, or at least you have each other to bounce ideas and experiences off of when it comes to the child. As a single parent, it might be us meeting with teachers and/or administrators and they may think they know what is best for the child or have an “idea” about what is going on that doesn’t jive with our own understanding of our child or our family. While a dialogue can be valuable, and we might learn something from them—we still have to keep from letting ourselves get intimidated into thinking that “they” know better for our child than we do.
When in doubt, get second or third opinions; talk things over with a trusted friend or family member or take a breather after a tense discussion. Remind yourself that you are the parent and regardless of whether you are a single parent or not, you are the ultimate authority on your own child.
Also: Preparing for Difficult Situations
Expect to Start All Over Every School Year