I think traditions become even more important when you are a single parent. Hailey was ten when I got divorced, our holiday traditions represented continuity and security for her, she knew what to expect this strange first Christmas in an apartment. I tried really hard to make sure we still did all of the things we had done in our home as a family. We strung Christmas lights on our little balcony. The tree went up the day after Thanksgiving and Hailey still got to put the angel on the top, although it was a little harder for me to get her up there than it had been for her father.
Hailey looked forward to all the holiday things we had always done. They let her know that as much as her life had changed, some things would always be the same. In addition to doing all of our tried and true things, it was time to come up with new traditions, something to ease the strangeness of spending half the holiday with mom and half with dad.
I talked to Hailey a lot as the holidays approached and asked her what her favorite things were. Like all kids she talked about presents, decorating the tree and making cookies, but mostly she talked about being with her cousins and other family. That was what I tried to focus on, making sure she was surrounded by family.
We learned to make Christmas ornaments but still continued the tradition of buying a new ornament every year. We baked cookies with her aunts and cousins instead of just the two of us. I let her help wrap presents for other people. We also started doing Sub for Santa. This was difficult because as a single mom money is really tight at Christmas but I felt that the lesson learned was more important than the things we would have to give up and I was right. Hailey loved picking out things for other children to open Christmas morning, it was fun for her to get to be someone else’s Santa.
Now we are several years past the divorce and the new traditions we’ve started since the divorce are just as valued as the original ones.