When I first got divorced I couldn’t dream of ever forgiving my ex. I was incredibly hurt and was suffering consequences for decisions that I had no part of. I was angry at my situation and at the person that had put me there. As time went on I could feel the burden getting heavier and heavier. I was walking around with this weight on my shoulders that was preventing me from feeling any kind of real happiness in my life. I truly wanted to find happiness again, but I soon realized that I would never be able to fully move on without forgiving my ex husband for what he had put me through.
Forgiveness was a struggle. I had to realize that my forgiving him didn’t mean that what he did was ok, it just meant that I wasn’t going to carry that pain around with me anymore. I’ve often heard that holding on to grievances in the past is much like taking poison and waiting for the other person to die. It made sense to me, but it wasn’t until after I had forgiven my ex husband that I truly understood just how true this really was. Holding on to that anger wasn’t hurting my ex husband, but it was hurting me. Holding on to those things didn’t change the situation at all; I was still a single mother who was struggling to support her son, but I had come to accept my circumstances and learned to grow from them, rather than focus on the injustice of a situation completely out of my control.
I will never forget what my ex husband did, but I’m no longer angry at what should have been. Those events made me who I am today. They lead me to a life that could be filled with happiness. I am no longer carrying around those heavy burdens I once was. Forgiving him gave me the opportunity to find happiness within myself again, and that was something worth fighting for.