As my children have been getting older, it’s become obvious that connecting to my daughter is much easier than it is for my oldest son. His world is very different than my world. His world is about music, playing guitar and video games.
It is easy for me to spend time with my daughter because we enjoy similar things. It takes a little more work to try and engage my son and spend quality time with him. However it can be done.
The relationship between moms and teenage sons can be a little uncertain. He is no longer a little boy. He is becoming a man and the dynamics of the relationship are sure to change.
One of the worst things we can do, however, is pull away from them. It might be natural to think that you no longer share anything in common, so I will just let him live his life and I will live mine. But believe it or not, they still want to connect with you. However, it has to be on a different level.
One of the ways we can continue to connect to our teenage sons is through touch. No, they might not jump in your lap anymore but they still enjoy touch, even if they act like they don’t. A pat on the back, a hug and ruffling up their hair are some of the ways we can connect through touch.
We can also connect to our teenage sons through communication. I don’t know if anyone else can relate but this can be a real challenge. When all you get are one word answers or a shrug of the shoulders, it might seem like there is no point in trying. But never give up. When you least expect it, suddenly those flood waters of words will come bursting forth. You don’t want to miss those rare opportunities.
Finally, you can connect to your teenage son by spending quality time together. As much as you don’t share their interests, you should still try to engage in their world.
I remember last summer I was sitting out on the deck and my son had popped his head outside. I asked him to bring out his guitar and play it for me. His eyes lit up. He spent about an hour sitting next to me just strumming his guitar. I’m sure he appreciated the fact that I was interested in what he does.
I will also watch war movies with him since those are his favorite kind. We make his favorite treat, rootbeer floats, and just enjoy our time together. He usually shares interesting facts with me.
It is not impossible to connect to your teenage son. You just have to use a little creativity and maybe step out of your comfort zone. But it is worth it.
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