Tolerance in a marriage is something that many people experience and learn about the longer that they are married to their spouse. Tolerance does not mean that you constantly have to “put up” with your spouse; it means that there are times when you need to be patient and choose not to argue when it is not necessary. There are times when it is good to voice your opinions, but when it comes to the trivial things, sometimes it is just not worth it. It’s called choosing your battles, and some things are just easier to leave alone, rather than arguing about it. A quick example; my husband leaves his smelly socks wedged into his favorite chair, rolled up into smelly little balls. I used to get really upset at this, and even accused him of having no respect for me, leaving those stink bombs for me to throw in the laundry.
I really over reacted about it. Now I just leave them. When he has two days worth of stench in that chair, I tease him about it, and he invariably picks them up himself. Unless we are expecting company, it’s not that big of a deal, and if we are expecting company, he knows it’s wrong for them to find his socks when they sit down.
I believe humor is the key to tolerance.
When you are married there will be many times when you do not understand your spouse and may even become frustrated with them. This is not something to worry about or inspire doubtful feelings from this are completely natural. When you are living in such close quarters with another person this is something that is bound to happen. When this type of situation occurs there are many different ways to handle it. You can act out your feelings and tell your spouse exactly how you feel, but what you are feeling at that moment is anger, a feeling that will pass. When you experience anger out of frustration this is because you are not exercising enough patients with the situations around you.
You should not have to tolerate your spouse but it is important to remember that we all make mistakes and we all have our good and bad days. If you do not have this type of understanding, than marriage is not the right situation for you to be in. When something goes wrong in your relationship or there was an unexpected turn of events this is when your patients are most needed. Take advantage of these situations as opportunities and embrace them.
Tolerance and patience are two virtues that should be practiced when you are in a marriage. No matter how much you love your spouse there will always be times when your patience may be tested and your character as well. Marriage is a relationship which requires a great deal of effort and compromise, without he effort of both spouses, marriage cannot work.