When my wife, Tristi, told me she was expecting, I have to admit, I wasn’t very positive at first. I had been fired my job ten days before getting married, which was about two months before this, and had no way to support my family. I’d been looking for work ever since. We had moved to a tiny attic apartment close to the place of work that had laid me off, and we then had to pay for additional gas in order to get to other jobs.
I didn’t realize this was an opportunity to make good the mistakes my father figures had made while I was growing up. I knew I didn’t want to follow their bad examples, but didn’t appreciate the good ones they had left with me, either. I did not understand myself, my limits, Tristi’s limits, or the patterns that had brought me to this point of mind. I did understand that I was responsible, I was out of work, and didn’t have a job.
So I looked for work, watched the money we were given at our wedding dwindle, and tried to be positive about the whole thing. I’m not sure I was fearful about being a father…I had my hands full adjusting to being married to a woman whom I knew deserved better than what I was giving her. And that lovely woman, who had given her heart to me, was dealing with the challenges of being pregnant, and with being married to me, and with little financial support.
What did I learn from this? I learned that you do what you have to do. I worked at a fast-food job that temporarily supported the family until I got something better. I learned to work and grow with my new wife in ways that would make having a family possible. And things worked out, better than expected. I have to marvel at the blessings that I enjoy today because we had the faith to make it through our pitiful situation, and as I had faith, I was able to look forward to the new baby with joy. Yes, having children is expensive, and I know it causes a lot of fathers stress, but the stress is far outweighed by bringing a new life into the world.
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