If you are the parent of a teen there is one particular issue that you have probably been dreading for many years…teen dating. It conjures up in my mind all kinds of emotions from my past.
I remember how difficult teen dating was. So often my heart would overtake me and I was so sure that I was in love. When it didn’t work out, I was left with broken pieces.
Teen dating is not something that every teenager will be interested in. Sometimes we make the false assumption that as soon as high school hits, every teenager will be focused on finding a boyfriend or girlfriend. However these interests can take shape at different points in a teen’s life.
So don’t be too quick to rush your teen into dating if they really aren’t ready. In fact, as a family you might want to sit down together and discuss what your standards and expectations are.
Is there a particular age that you will allow your teen to begin dating? Are there certain rules that will be applied, such as only being allowed to go out with a group of friends instead of alone with a date?
My husband and I don’t really have hard and fast rules. We have decided to tackle the issue as it comes and to deal with it uniquely for each child. I guess for me I just can’t really come up with a magical age that will be the best for dating to begin. It is going to depend on a number of factors.
For instance, we will take into account our child’s personality, their behavior in general, if they are trustworthy, level of responsibility and their grades. These are just some of the things that will be considered. In addition it will depend on the person they are interested in. Do we know that person and their family? There is so much that will be considered as that time comes.
It was kind of a joke in our family when our oldest son was about to turn 16. I told him that when he turned 16 he would be allowed to date. The joke was that he is so shy I knew it wouldn’t happen, at least not yet.
My youngest son who is in 6th grade quickly piped up, “Does that mean I get to date when I’m 16?” See, the trouble with him is that he is already looking forward to that day. So I quickly said, “No, the rules will be different for you.” While it was a joke…I think there may actually end up being some truth to that.
At any rate, we are taking it as it comes. I want my teen to be ready for dating. Too many teens are allowed to begin dating when emotionally they aren’t ready. As parents we know our teens best and it is our job to help protect them. While we may have the final say, be sure to make it a discussion that you have with your teen.
If your teen really believes they are ready for dating, you need to hear them out. They may bring up some valid points you hadn’t considered. So what are your rules, if any, that you have regarding your teen dating?
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