Even when you love someone, it isn’t always easy to know the right thing to do. Sometimes no matter how much you love them it’s hard to know when love, support and sympathy are quite simply too much. It’s hard to know when love and concern crosses over into interference and hovering over our spouse or other family members.
Sometimes it’s a matter of timing. We want to rush in and act and show our support but in the process don’t give the one we love enough space and time to process things themselves before expecting them to share the problem and deal with it together. This can be especially true when sickness, a chronic illness or a family crisis happens.
How much is worrying and fussing and how much showing genuine love and concern for the other person and their needs? It’s not always easy tot strike the right balance.
‘It shouldn’t be this hard to know what to do,’ my husband said last night as we were tossing around some ideas about a current situation and what to do. Now, he wasn’t talking about our marriage, but another situation. But it could as easily apply to marriage, because the reality is that men and women, on the whole, think differently and respond differently to events.
As a generalization, (and bearing in mind there are always exceptions,) men tend to want to know all the facts before making a decision and refuse to worry about a situation till they have all the facts. Then they’ll try and work out a plan of action. Women tend to let the emotions get involved and perhaps take over and worry anyway, even before we have all the needed information. We just want to get in and do something. This is especially true when it concerns someone we love like a spouse, parent, child or a dear friend.
The solution is to realize we process information and difficult situations differently. There’s no point trying to force someone, especially your spouse, to talk before they are ready. So it’s a matter of waiting till the other person is ready to talk about it, and then to sit down and discuss the issue and pray about it if you are believers. Then you can tackle the problem together and work through to the right solution.
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