What is more valuable to a married couple than any other currency? The emotional and intellectual wisdom of how to keep their intimacy alive decades after they have said I do. Couples need good coping mechanisms to handle the stresses of life without straining their marriage. They need to be able to overcome the periods of disillusionment and yet remain committed to their lives together and provide mutual support as well as maintaining their passion and romance.
Couples can do this by incorporating the following four ideas into their daily lives and rituals with regard to their marriage and their spouses.
- Employ Effort & Courage
- Remember there is no I in Team
- Be protective
- Good Enough = Perfect
Employ Effort & Courage
Couples who want their love and romance to last a lifetime need to work at it. An intimate relationship is complicated and it takes real effort and courage to build it and maintain it. There are times when it will be easier obviously and during more trying times, you can’t work less at it – you have to work harder. That means looking for ways to resolve differences, issues with communication and for some of us, managing stress and temper so that you don’t take your problems out on each other.
Remember There is no I in Team
One of the best ways to encourage positive communication and interaction is to remember that decisions that you make from the simplest such as what to get at the grocery store to working overtime to accepting a promotion or volunteering time at a project affect more than just you. You have to consider the choices you are making, the decisions you are making and how they will affect your spouse. One good rule of thumb my husband and I have is that we stay in constant contact. We let each other know what is going on and consult to make sure neither of us is forgetting something important. Recently, he got a new job and they need him to go to New York for a week of training, his first question to me was what would be the best week so he didn’t miss anything important going on for our daughter or us.
Be Protective
There is a circle that exists around you and your spouse,that will enlarge to incorporate your children and your family. This separates you and yours from the rest of the world. The idea is not so much to isolate, but to insulate your family within a protective circle. You share your time, your energy, your knowledge and more with each other and your children. No one else intrudes upon this bubble.
Good Enough = Perfect
Every marriage requires compromise. Every marriage goes through periods where sacrifice will be needed. Husbands may have to settle for a job they don’t particularly like because they need to make sure they remain on secure financial footing. You may have to accept that going back to school is still 12 to 18 months away. Just because you do not have everything you want, when you have each other makes it good enough and good enough is perfect when you are together and working towards a common goal.