After a divorce it is normal to feel a void in your life, to feel that bitter emptiness of what once was. You want someone by your side to share in your child’s triumphs. You want someone to turn to when you’ve had a long day. Loneliness becomes your constant companion. For me, this was my downfall. No one likes to feel lonely. I was vulnerable and alone and looking for something to fill that void. I became an easy target because I let my guard down.
Does it ever feel like men have this sixth sense? At least the bad ones anyway. They know just how to spot the woman who is feeling the most vulnerable and then they say all the right things and do all the right things to weasel their way in and then they take advantage of you. I always wondered why I kept attracting these kind of men. I mean aren’t there any good ones left? Then it hit me, my loneliness and low self-esteem was calling out to them. I felt so worthless after my ex husband left, that for some reason I actually started to believe that none of the good guys would want me. Even though everyone around me kept telling me how crazy that was, I believed it, and I have a feeling I’m not the only one.
While the loneliness doesn’t ever really go away, there are things you can do to fill the void. Keep yourself busy. The busier you are the less time you have to think about the loneliness you are feeling. Focus on your children. They can bring so much joy into your life, and while yes, it would be nice to have someone to share in that joy, the joy is still there whether there is someone by your side or not. Do things for you. Take a time out and pamper yourself. Talk to people around you who know what you are going through. There are support groups for single mothers all over the place. Ask around. They can be a great resource for you when you feel consumed by the empty feelings. Find what works for you. Don’t let your loneliness make you an easy target. You deserve better and so do your children.