Living through Our Children

Do you know a parent who tries to live through their children?  Maybe you are that parent.  Can I give you some advice?  Stop.

One of the most detrimental things we can do is attempt to mold them into the person we wished we had been.  These expectations put a tremendous amount of pressure on them, leaving them no room to be who they were meant to be.

This was a lesson we learned as parents early on.  My husband has always been athletic, so when we found out our first child was going to be a son; he had visions of his footsteps being followed.

As soon as our son was old enough for T-ball, we signed him up.  But it didn’t take long to discover he had no interest in playing.   He is now 18 years old and has never played in a sport nor does he watch any.

The teen years are the most critical when it comes to children figuring out who they are.  This is where we have to give a little room for them to grow.  No, we may not like the hairstyle or clothing they choose.  But they are not us.

Now some things, for good reason, might be a bit more concerning.  For instance, the fad with ear piercings is one that my daughter has expressed interest in.  There are definitely boundaries I have put in place.

At the same time, I talk to her about the concerns I have.  Such as applying for jobs when you have piercings or getting an infection.

It can be difficult to allow our teens to express themselves when it comes to certain issues.  Decide which ones are worth battling and which aren’t.

But most importantly, don’t try to live through your children.  You had the opportunity.  Now it’s their turn.