Me Focused

Marriage

A marriage needs to be nurtured.  It requires sacrifice, giving and selflessness.  But it can’t always be “other focused.”

You see, if all of your efforts go into pleasing your spouse, its going to cause burnout or possibly bitterness.  This means that just as important as it is to take care of your spouse and your marriage, you need to take care of yourself.

A failure to take care of yourself physically, emotionally and spiritually won’t make you a better marriage partner.  You are more likely to struggle with fatigue, depression, irritability and lots of other not-so-pleasant qualities that can cause problems in a marriage.

This was a lesson I learned the hard way.  Back when my three children were younger, I was the type of woman who tried to take care of everyone else but myself.  I didn’t have time, was my reasoning.

I had a husband, home and children to care for.  My sleep and my need for breaks got put on the backburner.  And do you know what that created?  A whole lot of animosity toward my husband.

Here I thought I was being the “good” wife by putting aside my own needs, when in fact it was making me one crabby, volatile woman.  Unfortunately, it was a lesson that would take me years to learn.

Today it is much easier to nurture my marriage because the focus isn’t just on that.  I recognize that unless I take care of myself, I can’t be the “good” wife.

So I make sure that I exercise, I get sleep, I ask for help around the house, I enlist my husband to help out with things, I feed myself spiritually and I take time with friends.  It is amazing the difference it is made.

There is nothing wrong with being “other focused.”  But make sure this is balanced with being “me focused.”