Mentor Family?

I contacted the adoption recruiter regarding one of the girls we were matched with, and instead of putting me in touch with her social worker she informed me that this girl is sort of freaked out about the idea of adoption, and she asked whether we would be interested in starting out as a mentor family.

That is all the information I have for the time being. She just left me wondering… What does that mean?

Is this just a way of slowly introducing her to a family? Is this a one time thing, a way of easing her into a family with no pressure? Are they hoping that by introducing her to a family she might eventually just decide that she wants to be a permanent part of that family? Do we just get to know her and see where it leads?

It’s an interesting idea, and one that we hadn’t considered before. I am supposed to call her tomorrow to discuss it more, so we’ll see what comes out of that conversation.

I have been considering this for the past few days, though… after being asked if we would be willing to do this, it left me curious if this is a one time thing or if it is something they do with foster children regularly. Sort of like a big brother big sister, only with whole families? If this is something they do often, if it is something that I can volunteer to do with more children, I would definitely be interested in pursuing that. My husband and I have discussed many times the fact that if it were up to me I would adopt them all… and he has strict limits on what he is willing to take on. It’s one of the areas where we actually disagree, quite dramatically. But if I could offer up my time as a mentor to foster children, get to know them, be there for them, help them out in that way… I think that could be a way I could be involved in the lives of more than just the one we adopt.

I mentioned this to Tom, and he was all for it. He doesn’t even have a problem with being involved with that endeavor.

So… here’s to new opportunities??

I’ll let you know what happens tomorrow.

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About Ellen Cabot

Ellen is a wife and mother of three in the Tampabay area. She has been married for 15 years, and she and her husband are in the process of trying to adopt children from the foster care system. Ellen grew up believing that family is the most important thing, and that your family members are the only people who will always be there for you no matter what. Upon learning that there are children in the foster care system who never find a home simply because they are above the age of 7, she and her family decided that they wanted to provide at least one girl (maybe more!) in foster care with a warm and loving home and a family to call her own forever. Besides adoption, Ellen is passionate about (almost obsessed with) religion, and she enjoys spending time with her family, watching movies, and reading. She is excited to have the opportunity to blog about the adoption process for the community at!