Let’s face it. We are all human and we all make mistakes. Mothers may be, in the eyes of their children, superheroes, and single mothers seem to have even bigger shoes to fill. Our children look to us for answers, advice and knowledge. We shape their lives, but in doing so, we have to know how to deal with our own mistakes.
Earlier today, I told my son that he couldn’t sit with me because I had to get some work done. I was worried about getting everything done on time because I had fallen behind due to an illness. My son was crying and I was angry. I was frustrated that I couldn’t get my work done. How awful is it that I turned my child away from me in order to do work that could wait until he fell asleep? To me, that’s pretty bad.
Not only have I been sick, but my son has also been sick. Everyone knows that when children feel bad they want their mommies. How could I have turned my son away when he was feeling bad and wanting me? It was a mistake that I quickly corrected.
It only took a minute of my son crying for my frustration to vanish and concern and empathy to take over. Had I not been sick myself, I don’t think I would have overreacted. Having been sick and letting stress build up had put me a bit on edge. Once I took a deep breath and calmed down, I felt guilty and ashamed.
I called my son over to me, picked him up and wiped away his tears. I told him I was sorry I had made him cry. I explained to him that I had made a mistake. I had wanted him to go to his Nana, who wasn’t working. I didn’t take into consideration that he wanted his mom because he felt bad. I didn’t think about having not spent as much time with him due to us both being sick for the past week.
I don’t think that my reaction was so horrible that my son will even remember it when he wakes up. I am a very tender-hearted person. I am sure that I am harder on myself about the mistakes I make than anyone else would be. I always feel guilty when I feel as though I made a parenting mistake, and then I try to compensate for it.
It is times like tonight that I reflect on parenting, love and life. I wonder how mothers can be so cruel as to abuse their children. I wonder how mothers put drugs and money above their children. I can understand how, as parents, we all make mistakes. I can understand yelling when we shouldn’t. I can understand overreacting due to stress or illness.
The thing I can’t understand is how anyone can not feel remorse. How can a mother realize that she has made a mistake and not do everything in her power to correct it? I know I am not a perfect mother, but I am striving to be the best mother that I can be.
What it means to me, to strive to be the best I can be, is to learn from my mistakes. It means that when I overreact or yell at my son, I tell him that I made a mistake. I explain my actions and tell him that I was wrong. I teach my son to apologize and to admit when he has done wrong. I also teach him about forgiveness.
Parenting is a difficult job. Mothers make mistakes. Fathers make mistakes. Grandparents make mistakes. Kids make mistakes. The important thing in a family is to realize that we all make mistakes and to forgive each other.
I hope that all mothers realize that they are heroes to their children. I hope they can accept their downfalls and not dwell on them. I hope that they can praise themselves for the good they do in their lives. To every mother who reads this, give yourself a pat on the back. You deserve it.
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