My last article discussed my amazement to a new book to be released that actually finds the positive side of affairs.
I would like to take this article to give some discussion to my beliefs about the book. While I have not actually read the book, I have looked into some excerpts from it and gotten a good idea how the author feels and her point of views on cheating.
My first thought was that perhaps a book about the positive side of affairs is a good idea. However I was more thinking in terms of from the perspective of the person who was cheated on. I think that it could be a helpful tool to have a book that discussed the strength that can come to a relationship after an affair. After all there are many out there who have survived them and grown from them.
I then gained the understanding that indeed this book seems more directed toward being sympathetic to the cheater. That is, the author feels for those who cheated and regret it and live with the guilt day in and day out.
In her opinion, keeping quiet and making the rest of the relationship time right is the way to go. However, I would most definitely have to disagree. I do not feel that the guilt will ever be lifted without honesty.
In addition to not lifting the guilt, think of the consequences that will be served if the affair is “outted” by someone else. Do you really want your spouse to receive a phone call one day or a letter in the mail or a knock on the door stating that you have had an affair? To me this would be much more damaging to the relationship than coming out and pleading for forgiveness and making new commitments.
Emotional and Physical Affairs