I haven’t mentioned this before, but I have a weight loss buddy. Although I have other weight loss buddies who are online and who I check in with from time to time to see how they’re doing, this particular weight loss buddy actually lives with me! That’s right, my darling hubby is being supportive and joining in the Weight Watchers eating plan right alongside me.
First of all on this I should clarify that he’s not just doing this purely out of selfless motivation – I know he loves me and would do anything he could to support me anyway – but he could stand to lose a few pounds or so! However, having your hubby as more than a cheerleader does have pros and cons, especially if the hubby is a bit like mine!
I’m someone who is goal oriented. I’m not a sprinter because I run out of steam too quickly. Although I’m a very self-motivated and professionally driven person (when not suffering from chronic fatigue), I’m not a competitive person at all. I have no interest in sizing myself up against what others are doing. I believe firmly that as long as I’m doing what I can to go at the pace that suits me, I’m doing just fine thank you very much.
Hubby on the other hand is not so wired! Hubby is very competitive. It’s a family thing. Most of his family has no interest in playing a game just for the enjoyment of spending quality time with loved ones – they’re out for blood! This transfers to hubby’s outlook on his weight loss. He wants to sprint there and doesn’t seem to understand how his behavior de-motivates me.
With the Weight Watchers point system you have a set number of points every day. You’re allowed to eat 4 points less than they recommend and transfer them to another day if you wish, but you shouldn’t eat less than that. I usually eat right up to my points and it’s working for me. Hubby on the other hand is eating well below what he’s entitled too. I know that this is his choice, but when I’m eating more than him, I start to feel guilty. He’s not responsible for my guilt, any more than I’m able to influence his decision, but it does lead to a conflict in how we handle the same diet plan. If approached about this, his attitude would be to stop following the plan completely as he would believe this to be what I wanted despite my telling him otherwise. Yup, he’s very much an all or nothing guy! I love this man with all my heart but sometimes he can try the patience of a saint!
I know that he’s trying to support me, and it’s great that he loves me enough to walk this road together with me, but I just wish he’d understand that pushing himself to eat less isn’t working within the Weight Watcher program, nor is it going to lose his weight in a healthy and permanent way, but it is sabotaging my efforts because I can’t eat as little as he eats and so feel inadequate and sometimes want to give up as a result. This happened once before and I did quit. This time I’m not going to allow myself to do that, but it is depressing just the same.
Weight Loss Guys here at families.com
Dads Losing It: An Introduction
Getting My Mind Right: The Next Phase