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Defining Family

What is it that defines your family? Is your family defined by the people you’ve grown up with? Are they the one’s who’ve been there for you when you’ve needed them? I have chosen three main definitions of family to focus on: genetics, law and special relationship. When looking at family dynamics in adoption, we should know that people use any combination of these to base their perspective, some putting more priority on one over the other. Genetics: Being united by genes is one way people define family. Some people call this blood relation, or biologically related, and some call … Continue reading →

Changing Seasons

Have you ever had a feeling like something in your life was about to change; like a new chapter or season in your life is about to begin? That’s kind of where I’ve been for while now. In the past, prior to knowledge of a move, promotion or placement of a child in our home, I’ve had this feeling too. Maybe it’s just becoming familiar with the first tastes of a new season; like the crispness in the morning as autumn has approached, or the fragrant air of spring. Since I’m not sure exactly what God’s plans are for my … Continue reading →

Labor of the Heart

I’m not qualified to make a true correlation between physical labor while giving birth to a child, and the labor pains of the heart in adoption. I have never experienced child birth first hand. I had the honor of being invited while a long time close friend of mine was awaiting the arrival of her and her husband’s first child, a beautiful son by birth. I remember her contractions, the waiting for her next stage of labor to approach (she had a very, very long labor); the praying for her son, and for God to be with my friend to … Continue reading →

Finally Finalized

When starting out our adoption journey, my husband and I found the waiting to be difficult. One moment we needed to submit documentation right away to be processed, then in another moment, we would find our selves waiting wondering if we were forgotten. We believed once we had our child in our home, the waiting for finalization wouldn’t be hard. When our first son was placed in our home, I can’t explain the joy we felt in becoming parents! We had waited 19 months from the day of our first orientation class, for the placement of our son. There was … Continue reading →

The Long Awaited TPR

For foster parents hoping to adopt their foster child and parents hoping to adopt their child’s birth sibling in the state system, the waiting for termination of parental rights (TPR) of the birth parents can be an emotional journey. What may look like an open and shut case doesn’t always turn out to be that way. In most cases birth parents are given every opportunity to regain custody of their child. Sometimes it can look like a birth parent is not following case plan. The state and the judge might agree that TPR in inevitable based on the evidence, but … Continue reading →

Ignorant Comments

Until my husband and I adopted, neither of us had given much thought about political correctness in reference to adoption. Prior to our adoptions, I made the same kinds of comments that I now hear from others. Some of these comments include” “You mean they aren’t yours?” “Where is their real mom?” “Are they real brothers?” “My (so-and-so) couldn’t have children of their own either.” There are a couple different ways of handling these cases. You can choose to be offended, or you can recognize that the person really doesn’t understand, and be the one to educate them. The day … Continue reading →

Meeting Birth Siblings

I’m struck with awe every time I meet a sibling of one of my boys’. When I get ready to meet one for the first time, I expect to see this strong resemblance between them and my child. Though I can usually fish for some similarities, it is so difficult to look at a child who is not a sibling by our immediate family relation and grasp that the child is related by genetics. I have been blessed to get to know both of my youngest son’s half siblings and three out of six of my older son’s birth siblings; … Continue reading →

Things to Consider When Seeking a Diagnosis for Your Child

Perhaps the most frustrating thing we’ve had to deal with regarding our special needs children, who were adopted, is getting them diagnosed so we can get them the help they need. Parents who have biological children often have trouble obtaining a diagnosis when they need it as well. The difference is that a biological parent often has a family medical history. Chances are too a person who has custody of their biological child is less likely to have abused illegal drugs during their pregnancy. In considering where our children’s concerning behaviors come from, there were some things we needed to … Continue reading →

Why I’m Here

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Hello. My name is Melissa and I am a Christian…. I could have come and introduced myself as a mother or a wife, but those things are really secondary to my faith. Who I am in my faith defines me as a wife and mother. I strive to place God first in my life, though I, like everyone else, fall short. My hope as a blogger at Families.com is to offer insight, practical teaching, and encouragement in Christ so that I may reach out to others while growing in my own faith. I come here in complete humility praying that … Continue reading →