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10 Ways to Make Your Communication More Effective

This is a checklist that every married couple should keep taped to their refrigerator or their computer or their bathroom mirror – wherever they may see it every single day. If you know someone who is going to be married, include it in a note or a card to them. I try to look at this list as often as I can – because it helps and it serves as a healthy reminder to make better choices and to be more effective when I communicate with my spouse. Don’t Be Judgmental – You need to avoid words and phrases that … Continue reading →

Do Women Talk Too Much?

We’ve all seen the caricature in movies and TV shows of women talking and the husband not listening. It happens in real life too. I’ve heard lots of women accuse their husbands of not listening or switching off. Hey, I might have even been guilty of that one myself. It’s a known fact though, that men have ‘selective hearing.’ Any woman can tell you that. But could we women be part of the problem? Is part of the problem that we women talk too much? Do we expect our men to communicate when they don’t really want to? On the … Continue reading →

Finding The Perfect Mate

A little while back a 27 year old man from Tokyo married a Nintendo character. That’s right. This man said ‘I do’ to a video game creation. The character is called Nene Anegasaki, and is the star of a dating simulation game called Love Plus. Now I know what a sad state our society is in. According to the man, Nene is ‘better than a human girlfriend.’ He says she is ‘the perfect woman.’ And right there is the problem. He’s looking for the perfect woman. Well good luck with that. Little wonder a human being isn’t good enough for … Continue reading →

Making Assumptions

Making assumptions about what your spouse believes or thinks about things can spell trouble. I read a story recently sent us by a friend about a situation in Papua New Guinea. The men and women were split into two separate groups. Each group was asked what they considered to be the three most important issues to support children at school. Then each group was asked what they thought the other group would say. The men said ‘double classrooms, libraries and teacher houses.’ When asked what the women would say, they assumed the women would say exactly the same as what … Continue reading →

Clearing Up Line Noise

Everyone needs to improve his or her communication skills. Communication is not easy. Talking might be, but actually exchanging information in a manner that both the sender and receiver are on the same wavelength is not. The reason communication isn’t easy is because we are emotional beings. Think about what needs to happen for your modem or Internet connection to successfully swap packets. You need a clear connection; even a small amount of line noise can slow down the reception or garble the transmission completely. Line noise occurs between people when our emotions get tangled up. Whether the emotion is … Continue reading →

I’m a Workaholic

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There are a number of challenges that are waiting to confront you when you get married – challenges that you weren’t likely expecting. When you marry a workaholic, you may find yourself becoming a widow or widower to your spouse’s job and responsibilities. In a society where laziness seems to be the catch phrase, a workaholic can’t be that bad can they? Speaking From Experience Let me speak from experience here and stand up and admit it, my name is Heather Long and I’m a workaholic. I get so caught up in my work sometimes that I get up early … Continue reading →

How to …. Compromise

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Compromise is difficult at the best of times and when you add passion, love and strong-minds to the mix then you may discover that compromise falls into the pretty words category. From our first steps to our mornings in Kindergarten to growing up, we’re required to compromise or lose out on friends, social events and in some cases even grades. Guide to Compromise As a parent now, I know I am talking to my daughter all the time about compromising all the time and that there are a few things that I am always saying to her. I can’t think … Continue reading →

Old Work Habits Die Hard

Prior to becoming a direct sales representative, I was an investigator for our county’s child protection agency where I spent my days interviewing people non-stop. “What happened to your child?” “What are your housing plans?” “How is your marriage?” When I wasn’t being nosey, I was busy making often feeble attempts to fix people. Needless to say, it was quite refreshing to leave my social services job and work with people that didn’t have the same issues as my “customers” from my previous job. I was ready for a change of pace. Within the first few months of my business, … Continue reading →

Understanding Your Deployed Soldier

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While my husband was in Iraq, I discovered a brand new side to his personality. My husband is generally pretty laid back and it takes a great deal for him to really get upset in the everyday world. To say the very least, this was not the case while he was deployed. I was lucky enough that my husband had internet access in his tent so we were able to talk everyday online and without a doubt this was a blessing; it could also be a huge stress factor as well. I arranged my life around the computer as my … Continue reading →

The Answer Should Never Be I Don’t Know

If that’s the answer, what’s the question? The question, in this case, should be why are we still married? The answer should never be I don’t know. Now I can give you any number of reasons why you might still be married – but the only one who can answer that question is you. Why Am I Still Married? It may sound hokey, it may sound corny – but I made a vow and a commitment and even during the hardest of times, I haven’t forgotten this. The idea of getting a divorce because we were angry at each other … Continue reading →