Search Results for: blog our sibling adoption experience with the

Book Review: Let’s Talk About Fostering and Adoption

Let’s Talk About Fostering and Adoption by Sarah Levete is part of the “Let’s Talk About” series from Stargazer books. Other titles include “Let’s Talk About….Racism, Learning Difficulties, Bullying, Drugs, Stepfamilies, Keeping Safe, Being an Immigrant” and more. The book begins with “What’s My Family Like?”, “Why is Someone Fostered?” and “What Will My Foster Family be Like?” It mentions reasons why children are referred for foster care and explains that foster families are chosen and trained to provide a safe place. The book talks about the feelings kids may experience about being placed in foster care and about moving … Continue reading →

Book Review: The Open Adoption Experience

The Open Adoption Experience, by Lois Ruskai Melina and Sharon Kaplan Roszia, is a comprehensive resource for birth and adoptive families. It talks about options on the spectrum of openness, from non-identifying information only, to letters and photos through an intermediary, through visits on birthdays, to frequent visits. The book was written in 1993 and so has only a small section on international adoption, reflecting the fact that few international adoptions were open at that time. (Most still are, but openness—at least through letters and photos—is becoming more common.) Nevertheless, the authors briefly share the experiences of half a dozen … Continue reading →

Weaving God’s Love Across Cultures: Transracial Adoption and Faith (Book Review)

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When the Evangelical Lutheran Church in America committed to exploring strategies for ministry to different ethnic groups, a group of adoptive parents and adoptees saw an opportunity to educate faith communities about adoption and provide resources to help families connect their adoption experiences with spiritual issues. Interested Christians of several denominations and ethnicities gathered in Seattle in the fall of 2002 to share ideas. The result was the book Weaving God’s Love Across Cultures: Transracial Adoption and Faith, edited by Rev. Mary Lindberg, containing contributions by adoptive parents, teen and adult adoptees, clergy, social workers and even a Korean birthmother. … Continue reading →

Promoting a Positive Sibling Adjustment

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My last blogs talked about the difficulties siblings may experience in an adoption and the positives of having siblings in adoptive families. In our experience, my three-year-old was very loving toward his one-year-old sister initially. He would often sigh and comment, “Wow, babies sure cry a lot” (we’d prepared him for this), but generally seemed okay. A few months later, however, he did have a couple of times yelling “send that baby back to Korea!” This was especially hard for us to hear before the adoption was finalized. Afterwards it didn’t bother us so much. I believe one of the … Continue reading →

Sibling Issues in Adoption

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I’ve recently blogged about adopted children’s adjustment at home and about grandparents’ relationships with the new child . Today I’d like to devote some attention to siblings. Much of what is written about sibling rivalry in general will also apply to adoptive families, of course. Kids who have been only children seem to have more trouble while a sibling is newly placed than those who are already used to sharing their parents’ attention. But there are two major differences: timing and age. When a child’s mother is pregnant he knows, for a few months at least, that things are changing. … Continue reading →

Adoption Books for Children: Focus on Korea and Vietnam

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This blog will be the first in a series. I’ll share some adoption books which tell the stories of children from different parts of the world. Of course, many of the stories will be interesting to children adopted from other countries than the ones depicted, or to non-adopted children who are likely to meet adopted friends or classmates at some point in their lives. Next I’ll do a series of books for adults on adoption from different regions. In An American Face, a boy looks forward to receiving his American citizenship, but thinks he will be getting a new “American” … Continue reading →

What Kinds of Special Needs Do Kids Awaiting Adoption Have?

What comes to mind when you think of “special needs”? In the adoption world, a child with “special needs” is one with any condition or situation which makes them harder to place in a family. They could be a large sibling group, older, or simply boys. But most often, a “special need” refers to a medical or developmental condition. It might be an actual disability, it might be a condition that needs surgery but is correctable, such as cleft palate, it might be a risk factor such as extreme prematurity, prenatal drug or alcohol exposure, or it might be a … Continue reading →

Your Family Storybook

I’ve written before about lifebooks, books about foster or adoptive children which show the continuity of their history from birth, through each residence and caregiver until they arrive at their permanent home. Family storybooks are another tool for bonding in adoptive families. This term is used in two slightly different ways. One type of family storybook is a book which is designed to give children an overview of their new home and family. In some cases it may also serve as an overview presented to the state foster care workers or committee reviewing the family’s application. (Some couples looking to … Continue reading →

Adoption and Your Employer

Ed Paul’s recent Blog On Having a Calling made me smile. Our adoption stories are as much the same as they are different. We both raised biological children but found a good reason to become adoptive parents. He was able to retire and share his calling with his co-workers but, I had a very different experience. In my last position in a large Insurance Brokerage I knew I had been hired in part because, my biological children were old enough to drive me to work! It was very clear during the interviewing process that I was well liked, however there … Continue reading →

Book Review: Inside Transracial Adoption

Can a mother duck raise a swan to swim like a swan? By educating herself about swans, telling her child about swans? Gail Steinberg and Beth Hall would suggest that she cannot. What she can do very well, however, is teach the young swan all the important things about how to be a bird. She can love him, and she can be his real mother. But to have him be comfortable as a swan, ultimately she will have to let him spend time with and learn from swans. Steinberg and Hall are the authors of Inside Transracial Adoption(c.2000,Perspectives Press). Steinberg … Continue reading →