An Affair Doesn’t Mean “The End”

It may be hard to accept the idea that when your spouse has an affair, it doesn’t have to mean the marriage is over. For most men or women, betrayal is a bitter pill to swallow. It’s hard on the person who’s cheated on. It’s hard on the person who cheated. But it’s hardest on the marriage as the couple tries to recover who they were before the cheating. An affair doesn’t mean a marriage is over, but it does indelibly change the marriage. Complications Relationship experts cite over and over that affairs are not about the sex. The reasons … Continue reading

Infidelity: Insult and Injury

In Does an STD Make the Crime of an Affair Even Worse?, I pondered just that. As deedee1231 pointed out, it probably doesn’t make it worse, it just adds insult to injury. I believe that. Yet when I wrote that article I didn’t think beyond an STD as a consequence of an affair that might add insult to injury. But then the whole prostitution scandal with former New York Governor Eliot Spitzer happened. Except, before I could ponder how he not only embarrassed himself but his poor wife and that’s certainly a huge insult too, my mom fell sick. I … Continue reading

What You Might Not Have Known About Affairs

In my quest to find information about affairs and STDs I stumbled across “Infidelity: Myths, Facts and Healing,” an article by Ofer Zur, Ph.D. Dr. Zur discussed all manner of things related to affairs and presented some very interesting facts about them. Or at least I found them interesting. They were things I didn’t know. I listed my revelations below. 1. Finally! A concise definition of infidelity. Maybe Dr. Zur’s not the first to define it thusly, but of all the definitions I’ve read this one was most succinctly stated: “Infidelity is unfaithfulness to a sexual partner in an agreed … Continue reading

Affairs and STDs

You often hear people talk about the psychological issues they suffer after finding out a spouse has had an affair (namely lack of trust), and there’s the other kind of fallout that manifests (counseling and divorce), but what about the health issues? How many affairs result in the contraction of an STD? Perhaps it’s a weird thing to wonder about. (Then again, I’m prone to that. “How Do Monkeys Keep Their Nails Clipped?” is proof.) But there you have it, I’m wondering about it. I blame Wayne. Not because he cheated and gave me an STD, but because of his … Continue reading

Internet Infidelity Leads to Attempted Hit

This morning while I was once again watching Today (yes, I’ve noticed I start off with this line a lot), they ran a story about a woman who used Craigslist to try and hire someone to kill her lover’s wife. Apparently 49-year-old Ann Marie Linscott is married and lives in the Grand Rapids, Michigan, area. She met her lover, who lives in Oroville, California, while taking a course over the Internet. They engaged in a cyber affair, but when she tired of being the other woman she got the bright idea to use Craigslist to change all that. That’s pretty … Continue reading

When Jealousy is a Concern

In my recent jealousy series I have given my thoughts and opinions about jealousy. I have listed some reasons why I feel that some people are jealous. I have even discussed why I feel that jealous to some extent is normal and okay. In the articles listed above it may appear that jealous is a positive feeling. In this article, I will address the negative side of being jealous. While I still feel that jealousy in moderation is not harmful, when taken to extreme jealousy can have a very negative impact on a relationship. A continuous feeling of jealousy is … Continue reading

Signs of a Cheating Wife or Not?

I recently got into a lively discussion with a few friends about what constitutes signs of cheating for a wife. I love these kinds of discussions especially when the majority of participants are married and aren’t basing our argument on anything more than personal experience and opinions. So, with their amusement and permission, here’s a look at the signs we’ve compiled and some personal comments on them. Signs of Cheating or no? The collective wisdom of our group (comprised of 4 married participants and 1 soon-to-be-married) the signs of a cheating wife include: She maintains her prescription for birth-control pills … Continue reading

Pornography and the Christian

Recently I’ve been hearing of more and more churches offering small group settings for men (especially) so they have a place to fellowship with other believers who are fleeing from their addiction to pornography. The issue of porn is not exclusive to men; there are some women who struggle with it as well. So why is this such a big deal—especially in a marriage where both husband and wife consent? As Christians we are to be sober minded and be watchful of the liar and thief which is Satan. In thinking back to my Marriage Series introduction blog, I share … Continue reading

There Was an Old Woman Who Lived in a Shoe…

A couple of days ago my fifteen-year-old son was analyzing poetry for his English class. I think he was supposed to choose a poem, explain its meaning, and describe how he related to it on a personal level. So I have decided to do the same. Being a mom to seven children who have all kinds of special needs and talents, I’ve chosen a poem that I deeply relate to. There was an old woman… Now wait just a minute. Even though I relate to this nursery rhyme, I take issue with the word “old.” Why are women with lots … Continue reading

The New Infidelity

Shirley Glass, the late psychologist, identified a new trend in infidelity in her 2003 book: Not Just Friends: The new infidelity is between people who unwittingly form deep, passionate connections before realizing they’ve crossed the line from platonic friendship into romantic love. Of the people she’d counseled, 82% of the unfaithful partners had affairs with a person who was just a friend. What’s more, she recounted that 55 to 65% participatid in relationships that Glass herself found to be emotionally unfaithful. That is to say that their relationships with their special friend is secret, charged and more emotionally open than … Continue reading