(My kid-in-a-box) Why does Toys “R” Us have to run this annoying commercial 24/7? WHY? And why does my child run to the TV each time it airs? WHY? And why must I endure the torture of listening to said child end every sentence with a husky baritone: “WHY! WHY! WHY!” Guess which company I won’t be patronizing this holiday season? You know WHY? Why would I want to shop there now? WHY? Oh. Right. All those fabulous deals on toys that will hopefully keep my kid’s attention at least until New Year’s Eve… or until she sees another commercial … Continue reading

Oh My Arm!

I lost my arm last week. My third arm. It was severed by the door to a third grade classroom. Who knew the first day of school would turn me into an amputee? My daughter and I shared an amazing summer together, but like all good things our season of fun has come to an end. Our blissfully relaxed summer days have been replaced by a stringent school schedule. Our carefree morning strolls succeeded by a stressful morning commute featuring a frustrating intersection with a left turn light that allows exactly 1 1/2 cars to inch forward before turning red. … Continue reading

A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to…

Summer is primetime for family vacations. With kids out of school and Mother Nature providing fairly decent travel weather, many clans are taking to the skies or hitting the road on summer adventures. For some families, this year’s seasonal escapes will be hard to forget. Just ask the family who made a pit stop in Memphis on the way to their summer vacation destination. While it’s unfortunate, it is certainly not unusual these days to read headlines about parents accidently forgetting their children at Interstate rest areas, restaurants, stores or theme parks. However, it’s not every day that you hear … Continue reading

Playing With Food

(Want fries with that?) Santa brought this McDonald’s Drive-Thru playset to my daughter a couple of Christmases ago. So now, whenever I get a hankering for Ronald’s fries, all I have to do is belly up to the plastic window and yell for the short order cook. Or, in my case, the short cook. The interactive toy has yielded hours of fun for our family, and while my daughter is still nearly a decade away from officially working under the real Golden Arches, the kid can flip a burger and swirl a McFlurry better some of Mickey D’s paid employees. … Continue reading

Children of the Corn

(My corny kid getting corn-fused in a corn maze.) Amazing things can happen when you take a kid into a corn maze… like making headlines around the world and becoming the butt of late night comics’ jokes. Oh the joys of parenting. My heart bleeds for the Massachusetts mom and dad, who thought an innocent jaunt with their kids to a local corn maze, would yield wholesome family fall fun. Only the seasonal activity turned out to be a pre-Halloween nightmare that will haunt them for years to come. By now you’ve likely heard the tale of the couple, who … Continue reading

Foolish Fun

Personally, I don’t see the humor in having my kid take a whoopee cushion to school and placing it on her teacher’s chair. In fact, I can almost guarantee that no one will be laughing after she gets caught and is potentially suspended for trying to prank a teacher on April Fool’s Day. So, thanks, but no thanks on that idea. Really, a big thank you to all the loyal readers who emailed me kid-friendly April Fool’s jokes. I really appreciate your response to my request. I was sent several links that have proven quite successful, though the real … Continue reading

Mom Boss

It’s the battle of the Hallmark holidays: National Bosses Day vs. Sweetest Day. Typically, National Bosses Day is celebrated on October 16th, but since the 16th falls on a Saturday this year, it was moved to October 15th. Another reason for the move is that in 2010, Sweetest Day, which is celebrated on the third Saturday in October, falls on the 16th. What to do? In a perfect world moms would get pampered on both days. Heh! So what if the occasions are canned Hallmark holidays? We moms will take what we can get. Show a little love for the … Continue reading

Where Are Max and Ruby’s Parents?

“Is Ruby Max’s mommy?” asked my 5-year-old, as we watched yet another episode of the animated Nick Jr. series, “Max and Ruby.” “No, she’s his big sister,” I replied. “Then, where’s their parents?” she retorted. It’s a question that has launched a thousand ships… okay, the vessels may still be in port, but the subject has apparently bothered enough people that there are now multiple Facebook pages dedicated to answering the question every parent (who has ever had to sit through more than one episode of the preschool series) has asked themselves: “Where are Max and Ruby’s parents?” I’ve pondered … Continue reading

The Best Parenting Advice Ever

What’s the best parenting advice you’ve ever received? Advice, tips and tricks started rolling in the minute I announced I was pregnant with my daughter. Everyone from my grandmother to my co-worker’s second cousin once removed to the cashier at the local Target store seemed to have some bit of useful child-rearing information they simply had to share. When I was seven months pregnant my friends from work threw me a huge baby shower complete with games, scrapbooking stations and live entertainment. As part of the shower festivities each guest was instructed to jot down her favorite piece of parenting … Continue reading

Top Ten Signs You Are a Dedicated Parent

Have you earned your parent wings? Of course you have! Here is a humorous look at the top ten ways that you know you have gone from single sophisticate to dedicated parent. 10. You pack yourself a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. You already have the ingredients out on the counter anyway, and let’s face it, in your sleep deprived state it would just take too much effort to try to assemble something else. 9. You carry hand sanitizer wherever you go. A good cold was once a good excuse for staying home from work and indulging in a day … Continue reading