As parents we often spend many hours attempting to change our kids behavior by a little method known as correcting. This works for many kids but parents should also realize that a better method is the use of positive reinforcement.
Positive reinforcement is simply rewarding your child with something desirable after a behavior occurs. In most cases the reward then assures that the behavior will occur again. The reward does not have to be something material or costly, it can be a hug, a special snack, extra time with mom or dad, etc. For many kids, these types of reward are just as effective, if not more so, than material rewards. For the past two weeks, Tyler has been allowed to stay up 30 minutes longer (until 8:30) as a reward for good behavior. This has worked for me more so than any previous methods I have tried including money, trips to the movies and going out to eat. And it doesn’t cost me a penny. In fact, it works out better for me because I find I don’t have the normal hassles associated with him not wanting to go to bed.
So what kind of non-material rewards can you give your child? Here are a few suggestions:
Reading an extra book during family storytime
Coloring
Riding bikes
Baking cookies
Playing board games
Taking a walk together
Going on a camping trip— even if you do so in your own backyard
Going on a fishing trip
Roasting marshmallows outside while telling spooky stories
Playing football, basketball, soccer, etc.
Playing hopscotch or other games from your youth
Take a hike, literally
Spending quiet time together
As you can see, there are many, many ways you can reward your child and positively reinforce their good behavior. Sometimes as adults we tend to make life more complicated than it has to be. We need to simplify our lives and that of our kids. When I was growing up we didn’t have cable, computers and all the fancy doohickey’s that kids have today. We spent time playing outside, as a family and with neighbors and friends. Spending time with family is something we should strive to do more of. So the next time you want to reward your child for good behavior, reward them with a simple non-material treat— you’ll be glad you did.
See also:
Acknowledge Small Steps Your Child Makes