An interesting phenomenon happens when a woman announces her pregnancy to her friends. Some will be genuinely excited. Some will experience heartbreak in the midst of infertility. Some will feel jealous if they have not yet reached the “baby stage” of life and would like to. Some may not feel much of anything. When a friend experiences anything other than genuine excitement, the potential for drama arises. Add some pregnancy hormones into the mix and you have recipe for disaster, but no relationship has to be doomed because there is a baby on the way.
Pregnancy can cause heartbreak between friends when, for whatever reason, a woman conceives while her friend is unable to. I believe that most women who are facing infertility would like to be able to express genuine excitement for their pregnant friend, but it is difficult. It might feel like everyone around them is having babies, and each announcement is another blow. Sometimes there is no medical reason for a woman to not be able to have children when she desires to. It could be an unwilling spouse, and pregnancy news could cause growing feelings of resentment.
If a woman knows her friends well, she will likely be able to anticipate their reaction and plan accordingly. For example, if she knows her friend is dealing with infertility, she may choose to tell her about the pregnancy in private and give her a chance to respond without everyone around her cheering. It would be inappropriate to put off telling her because it would be more upsetting to find out she hid the pregnancy. She would feel even more left out. After the news is shared, it would be nice to ask the friend how comfortable she is talking about the pregnancy. She may not feel like talking about it or she may want to live vicariously through her friend’s pregnancy. It really depends on the woman and how she copes, and it’s always better to ask than to assume.
There’s no one right answer when it comes to these things. Have you faced mixed reactions when sharing the news of a pregnancy with your friends? How did you respond? Or if you have been on the other end, how did you feel?
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