Had someone told me one day I would grow up, meet a nice man who I’d marry, would willingly go through state adoption; that our children would be born to mothers who were unstable and our kids would have challenges likely as a result, I would have told them they were crazy! Years ago I believed that the only people who adopted were those who couldn’t have children of their “own”.
I’m not sure if going through pregnancy and childbirth is harder than adoption. I can’t even say for sure that love for a child who’s been adopted is different from that of a biological child. I have never given birth. I can honestly say, since I can’t see my children’s DNA, my heart doesn’t grasp that they were born to someone else.
Dare I suggest that parents, who desperately wanted children and dealt with fertility, adoption or any other kind of struggles to have children, have perhaps a deeper appreciation for parenthood? To wait and long for a child really helped us put into perspective what a blessing parenthood really is. The waiting time gave us time to talk about what values we would pass on to our children. It gave us time to take parenting classes and read books. We truly wanted to be the best parents we could be.
The excitement of being my kids’ mom has not worn off after over 4 years. I still get that excited feeling like I’ve just discovered a rare gem of unsurpassable value. I find myself overcome with joy and thankfulness to the Lord for allowing our specific kids to be raised by us.
In reflecting about our adoption experience, I realize my feelings really don’t have much to do with adoption at all. My gratitude, joy, love and humility comes from God who is the giver of all things that are good. Regardless of how anyone’s children come into their family, they are placed ultimately by God. We were given two precious children whose lives we’d hoped to be a blessing to, only to realize, we have been blessed by them.
Melissa is a Families.com Christian Blogger. Read her blogs at: http://members.families.com/mj7/blog