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Relationship Hero

How do you resolve conflicts with your in-laws? We have tried many different techniques to solve the relationship problems with my in-laws. The problems are not only with the mother in law or father in law but also with my husband’s siblings. The general consensus is that I am the whole problem, that his family has never done anything wrong. They say I am too sensitive and basically have mind control over my husband making him think and feel the way he does.

It is both insulting and flattering that they think I am that powerful. I feel bad for my hubby as he ends up getting the blunt of the complaints. They all do seem to revolve around me but they never come to me with the problems. His family has a general belief that if you don’t talk about a problem it is not there. They also believe that if you ignore the problems long enough they go away. I am totally the opposite I believe that you should talk about issues so that the problems get resolved.

Dr. Phil says that every relationship needs a hero, that someone has to step up to make the relationships problems better. I have tried to be that hero. When we have met to correct problems it goes nowhere as I feel like I am talking to kids because they sit there with their arms crossed either rolling their eyes or staring at the floor. I have tried talking on the phone just to have them hang up on me. I finally decided I was going to write a letter to my mother and father in law explaining what they have said or done to me personally and how it made me feel. I figured a letter would be great because no one can roll their eyes in front of me, there is no huffing or puffing and tempers stay in control. When I wrote the letter I waited three days to mail it and before I did I re-read it and made changes to anything that I thought could have been taken in a negative manner.

When I sent the letter I hoped it would help solve some problems. Silly me the letter just made it worse.

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About Tammy Woolard

My name is Tammy and I am 40 year old mother of 3 wonderful children who came to us through domestic adoption. Although we did not have any fertility issues we chose adoption because there are so many kids that did not ask to be born but truly want a family to love. We did research on adoption choices and decided on domestic adoption through CPS. You would be surprised the differences between each agency. The adoption process is nothing like you see in the movies. I am also a 5 year breast cancer survivor. When I was diagnosed my kids were 3, 5 and 7 I did so much research I may have driven my Dr. a little crazy but that is ok it is my body not his.