Recently while watching a TV show one of the characters admitted they had had a one night stand with someone else during a time when the husband was being distant, selfish and unresponsive. There was no plan to take the one night stand further. It was in the past but the person thought they should admit it to their husband. The result was he, understandably, chucked an absolute fit.
Okay so it’s just a TV show. But often TV shows reflect life.
It started a discussion between Mick and I about whether the character should have told, knowing how this other character always responds. He is very self- centered – one of those ‘it’s all about me’ types. He is what Mick calls ‘a real drama queen. ‘Now I’m not saying this case It wasn’t a major drama, nor am I making excuses for the one who had the brief affair, but it raised the issue knowing his partner and the way he invariably responds would it have been better to keep it secret?
Mick’s view was that in marriage there should be no secrets, but knowing the husband would it have been wiser and less traumatic for all concerned to keep that information from him? It provided a good deal of discussion between us till Mick said, ‘there’s got to be blog in that.’
If this was you, would you have told or would you have kept it secret? Is it worth hurting the other person and damaging the relationship, perhaps permanently, to ease your own guilt? Of course the other question is how difficult would it be to live with such a secret and carry the guilt around every day? Another point to consider is sometimes we may think we would react one way but unless we are actually faced with that situation we may find our reaction very different. I’d love to hear your views.
It certainly provoked a bit of discussion in the evening, which brings us back to where we were the other day – things to talk about. Talk about the TV shows you watch. It is a good way of finding out what your spouse thinks on certain issues.
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