Study: “Good Enough” Parenting is Good Enough

Parents are human, and all humans make mistakes. Some parents worry that if they are not perfect parents, it could result in lasting harm to their babies. A study from Lehigh University debunks that idea. “Good enough” parenting is actually good enough. A study titled: “Secure Base Provision: A New Approach to Examining Links Between Maternal Caregiving and Infant Attachment” was published in the journal Child Development. It was co-authored by Susan S. Woodhouse (an expert on infant attachment), Julie R. Scott (of Pennsylvania State University), Allison D. Hepsworth (of the University of the Maryland School of Social Work), and … Continue reading

Things to Know About Attachment Parenting

Do you practice attachment parenting? This type of parenting has become somewhat controversial. Those that practice it seem happy with it. Those that don’t often choose to share their opinion that this parenting style will somehow harm children (years later). Ultimately, it is up to each parent to decide what parenting style works best for them and their kids. Attachment Parenting is a parenting style that has eight principles to it. Each parent has a lot of leeway in how they interpret those principles and how they put them into action. Prepare for pregnancy, birth, and parenting – Parents remove … Continue reading

Going with the Flow: Boundaries and Non-Coercive Parenting

Kids need boundaries. I certainly believe this. Or rather, I believe that all humans need a sense of safe space. We all need to be able to move about in our worlds with a feeling of security, a feeling that we know what the rules are. However, we also need to be able to push and shape those rules as well. How much push you allow and how tight your rules are happen to be two of the defining forces in parenting. I consider myself to be a middle-of-the-road parent when it comes to rules, but I suspect that many … Continue reading

What Does Full Look Like?

If you have a child who is at all high needs, you might wonder if you’ll ever understand the meaning of “done” or “full”. What do I mean by these words? You pour energy and love and hugs and all sorts of good things in, and you think that at some point your child will feel satiated. Not so, it seems. Sometimes it feels like preschoolers simply want more and more and more, or that once you have given all you have, you need to give a little extra or a little something different. To those parents out there who … Continue reading

To Share or Not to Share

Sharing is important, right? Well, yes. When you bring some goodies for people at the office or the playgroup, that is important. However, imagine this. You’re at the office and someone brings in a doughnut. It’s one of the doughnuts that is filled with jam. Delicious! You decide that you would really, really like it, so you reach out and grab it from the surprised office worker’s mouth. You get it! Excellent. You start to eat it, when your fellow worker turns around, slaps you, and nabs the doughnut back. You begin to cry. Just then your boss walks in, … Continue reading

Who Are Your Preschool Parenting Gurus?

Tomorrow I get to go to a workshop by Beverly Bos, one of the gurus of early childhood education. Not only will this be useful for my work and my writing, I hope that it will be useful for my parenting too. She is speaking about the importance of childhood play. Who are your parenting gurus? Our local Gordon Neufeld is one of mine. He has written the book called Hold On To Your Kids, a guide to staying attached to your children no matter what. In a culture where we encourage our children to be independent from birth, staying … Continue reading

Safety of Slings

If you’re a parent who keeps up with baby product news, you no doubt have seen phrases similar to the following in recent headlines: “Sling recall.” “Slings blamed for infant deaths.” “Are any baby slings safe?” Due to the recent recall of two sling models manufactured by a well-known baby product company, many parents are questioning the safety of their baby carriers. Parents who formerly were convinced of the benefits of baby wearing are now wondering if the benefits are worth the risks. According to the Consumer Product Safety Commission, 13 infant deaths have been associated with sling-style carriers over … Continue reading

The End of the Day Blues

If you’re a parent who works outside the home, how do you deal with the end of the day with a preschooler? The end of the day is a rough sort of time, especially if your preschooler no longer naps. Perhaps you pick up your preschooler from relatives or from a child care center. Maybe your preschooler is at home with a nanny. You arrive home. The house is in various stages of disarray. Dinner needs to get on the table, likely half an hour before the present time. Your child is whining and needs you to undo her shoes, … Continue reading

Loving the Kid You Have

Dear preschooler, It’s just about a new year. It’s the time of year when people start to think about resolutions and reflect on the time that has gone by. At this time of year, I particularly remember the Christmas that you were one and a half, when you were getting six teeth at the same time. It was a drool-filled Christmas that involved very little sleep. I think that Santa and I crossed paths around 3 am that Christmas Eve, him heading up the chimney, me heading to the kitchen to get a drink of water, bouncing you into a … Continue reading

Choosing Connection

These days, I am focusing on developing a conscious connection with my daughter. In this busy holiday season, it can be easy to work, work, work on everything and get nothing accomplished, it seems. It can also be easy to forgo a lot of the holiday cheer and run around in ever-tightening circles of busy, forgetting to connect with real life humans in our efforts to buy presents, bake cookies, and mail Christmas cards. I have a strong suspicion that this is not what this season is supposed to be about. My daughter’s grumpiness level seems to fluctuate in a … Continue reading