Tag Archives: blended family

A Dirty Little Stepparenting Secret

When women date men with children from a previous marriage, we often romanticize the future. We will get married, have a beautiful family of loving, adoring, adorable children who call us “Mom” and are thankful for all we do but leave often enough (or visit rarely enough) to enjoy romantic weekends away with our new husbands. This is pretty much opposite of reality for most blended families. The bonding and relationships with our new stepchildren is one of the biggest areas new stepmoms find themselves taken aback. Very seldom do stepchildren latch onto new stepparents, particularly stepmothers, with loving adoration. … Continue reading →

Stepmoms Make Primetime TV!

This must be national Scared Straight week for potential future stepmoms and blended families! It seems like everywhere I turn, various popular TV shows are featuring some really scary stories about stepmoms-gone-wrong. In case the notion of the Wicked Stepmother wasn’t already burned into our social subconscious, this week will firm it up! Highlights from this week: Dr. Phil: On today’s show, titled The Final Ultimatum Dr. Phil features a stepmom who hates her stepdaughter. Yes, you read that correctly, she seriously hates the child. She refers to her as a “little thing” or a “monster”. Thank goodness that the … Continue reading →

Step-Families: Tips for Blending

Blending a family is, hands down, the most difficult part of re-marriage. Even if one spouse has children, the blending is usually difficult, sometimes painful, and occasionally impossible. Add kids from both sides and difficult ex-spouses and you’ve got your hands full! Here are a few tips for better step-family blending: Family meetings: hold a weekly family meeting when all the kids and adults can be present. Family meetings give kids an opportunity to air their feelings, focus on their accomplishments and feel like a family unit instead of just visitors. For more on family meetings, read this article. Family … Continue reading →

Marrying With Children

When it comes to forming a new relationship, you may know from the outset that your new partner has children. There’s a hilarious remake known as Yours, Mine, Ours and that movie illustrates the hilarious problems that can ensure when two families are blended together. It’s important to know that when you are mix and matching your families, there are some pressures that can be brought to bear on your marriage. If you are blending a family together whether the children are one side or both, it’s important to keep expectations realistic. The children need time to get to know … Continue reading →

Getting Married….With Children

Several years ago I fell in love and was proposed to. I eagerly said yes and the wedding planning began! What is different, but not uncommon, about our union is that we both had children from previous relationships. We were not just coming together as husband and wife but also as Mother and Father. Because blending is hard enough work as it is, it was important to us to include the children in our wedding plans. This was my first marriage so it was important that it be treated as such. But even if it was my 101st marriage, every … Continue reading →

“You Are Not My Mother” and 9 Other Stepmom Truths

I became a stepmom several years ago, and I can honestly say I wasn’t very prepared. I had some stepmom experience; after all I had two of my own while growing up! But, upon reflection, they pretty much stayed out of my life and I stayed out of theirs. When we visited, my dad handled everything. I took this for granted and never considered it as a lesson to be applied to my own family until after I became a stepmom myself. I’m a hands-on, stay-at-home mom and my husband’s children spend more time with us than away from us. … Continue reading →

Blending Families – Past & Present

I’ve noticed over the years that when it comes to divorces and blending families, there is no topic so passionately discussed as the issues surrounding step-parenthood. As a step-mother, I feel particularly passionate about this topic. Our new generation of blended families brings something unique to the table that past generations failed to provide – depth of personal experience. Our generation of step-parents was quite frequently the adult byproducts of blended families themselves. Often times we can vividly remember how it felt to establish a relationship with this pseudo-parent as a small child – good, bad or ugly. This depth … Continue reading →