Tag Archives: coping

Learning about Coping Gracefully from My Pets

Over in Marriage I wrote about how this year has been one blow after the other and I feel like I’m living under a black cloud. A string of them to be exact. No sooner does one pass than another one moves in and pours on me some more. I don’t even get a chance to fully dry off. I’ve been trying to cope as well as I can, but I have to be honest. My defenses are wearing down. Yesterday I got another blow. My dad’s girlfriend called to say she was at St. Anthony’s with my dad. He … Continue reading →

Coping with Black Clouds

As I wrote about in yesterday’s blog, this year has been one string of black cloud days after the other. I’ve shed plenty of tears and had days where I’ve been gripped by such fierce depression it’s been hard to get out of bed and act half-normal. But you know what’s pulled me through? (Besides my angels and my animals. Both have been there when I needed them most.) These two things: 1. The “we” factor, and 2. The sunshine factor. The “We” Factor Most of this year’s troubles have been mine. At any point, Wayne could have shrugged and … Continue reading →

Learning How and When to Walk Away from a Stressful Situation

Many single parents eventually learn how to be fighters. We learn how to stick up for ourselves and how to advocate for our children and our families. This, in itself, can be a good thing and a real developmental leap for many of us. There are those times, however, when the very best thing we can do is NOT stay and battle and fight—but to walk away and let things go… It took me a long time to learn how to walk away and avoid a fight or argument. In the world that I was raised in, I learned how … Continue reading →

Do Your Current Coping Strategies Actually Work?

You may think that you have good coping mechanisms and skills to handle stress, tension, anxiety, loneliness or any other myriad issues that come up for the average single parent—but just because you have coping strategies, does not mean that they are the healthiest way to face things. They might be outdated or no longer useful. Maybe it is time to see if there isn’t a better way that you can handle the realities of your single parent life? It might help to remember that the coping strategies that “work” for us when we are younger, may not still work … Continue reading →

It Isn’t Just About Coping, But Positive Coping

When I hear the word “coping” I think of just getting by. People tend to say “I’m coping” when asked how they are handling a particularly difficult situation or a crisis. I think that life a single parent shouldn’t just be about coping, but I prefer to think of “positive coping”—finding positive, productive, and spirit-lifting ways to face the challenges and joys of life in a single parent family. I had a friend who used to refer to “adult coping skills” as being things like drinking, going out dancing, etc. Of course, this was someone who was/is childless and free … Continue reading →

Making Sense: What do you Want to Happen Vs. What is Happening to you

Anytime I chat with other single parents, one of the subjects that comes up is how to get “control” of our lives. More than others, it seems, we single parents appear to wrestle with trying to get control of uncontrollable situations and sort out making the life we want happen and also accepting and coping with the things that we cannot control. I am not sure if it is because we have many of us already been through some trying times–a separation, divorce, death, or other unexpected reality–but we single parents are often trying to build lives and rise from … Continue reading →

Thoughts on Long-Distancing It: 3 Relationship Survival Must Haves

In my “Thoughts on Long-Distancing It” series, I’ve covered how commuter marriages are born and that breakdowns are inevitable. You might have gleaned from these articles that stress is to be expected and often accompanies the situation. But stress can also be managed and doesn’t have to destroy your relationship. (Because it can if you don’t keep it in check.) The three things you must have to ensure your relationship survives the long-distancing it phase are: 1. Patience I put this first because it’s the most essential. You are going to experience turbulence in a long distance arrangement. It might … Continue reading →

Detaching From Conflicts and Problems

I knew someone once who called it “churning yourself into butter”–all that fussing and worrying a person can do when she is faced with a conflict or problem. I know that many of us think that when it comes to business we need to stay in there and focus–fight the good fight! Sometimes, however, the thing to do is to detach and take our energy and focus away from a conflict or problem in order to gain fresh perspective and actually reach resolution and solution. Detaching is different from just abandoning or walking away from a conflict or problem. The … Continue reading →

Dealing with Stereotypes about Homeschoolers

I just read a post (on a paid membership blog site) written by a mom who is currently homeschooling one of her children due to the child’s diabetes. She says she was treated rudely by homeschoolers because she was not dressed in a skirt and blouse like other “homeschooling freaks”. Her t-shirt and jeans made her stand out and the freaks looked at her as if she were the freak. I was shocked and appalled, as I had been reading this persons blog for a while and they had never said anything so careless before. The comments were hard to … Continue reading →

Comfort and Joy

The holidays can be the most difficult time of year for those who have lost loved ones. My husband’s mom passed away five years ago, and the pain is still there and even more pronounced during the holidays. We all miss her very much, and Christmas is the most difficult time for us, because she was so into it. She would get as excited as the kids did about Christmas. She’d call me up just to say, “Two more days! I can’t wait!” Sometimes, she’d get so excited she really couldn’t wait and would start giving our girls their presents … Continue reading →