Tag Archives: denial

What is Your Child’s Biggest Area of Resistance?

Many of us assume that when our child is resisting, we naturally should back off and not force the issue. Well, this is true some of the time—but sometimes, those areas of resistance are where we should pay some extra attention… Understanding resistance as a way of deflecting attention from what is really bother you, or what really needs attention can take some effort on the part of the parent. Think of your own experiences with resistance—chances are, where you pushed, balked and refused to look at things more closely was probably right where you NEEDED to look at things … Continue reading →

Parenting Denial—Part Two—How it Helps

Earlier today, I wrote a rather serious article about how denial on the part of a parent (or two) can be harmful to our children and our families. To be fair, I also wanted to write a little more light-hearted piece about the benefits of a healthy dose of denial on the part of a parent. There are definitely times when it is probably best that we NOT make a big deal out of something! I think I have already made clear my opinion on dealing with big stuff—watching out for problems that might be developing from our children’s behavior. … Continue reading →

Parenting Denial—Part One—How it Hurts

We have all heard jokes about how parents have a tendency to think their children are the smartest, most beautiful and most amazing creatures to ever walk the earth. I, for one, don’t think there is anything wrong with that! There are some positive things that come from a little bit of denial as a parent (more about that in another article.) At the same time, we can cultivate a denial when it comes to our children that can be harmful. There are definitely times when we need to put on our objective glasses and know when there are problems … Continue reading →

Denial and The Single Parent

You may know by now that denial is an amazingly powerful survival tool. Like many human coping mechanisms, it is not one of those things that is inherently good or bad, but, instead, is a survival skill that has its place. As single parents, we may find ourselves utilizing denial to help us through a particularly difficult time, but at some point, we do have to learn how to process and let go of all that denial. Denial can show its face in many forms–in thinking that we will get back together with an ex who has left or abandoned … Continue reading →

Is it Marital Bliss or Denial?

There are times when marriage can be a perfectly blissful experience. Such magical moments are to be treasured, because too often, they are short-lived. Life has a way of interrupting those serene and special times. Most of us can deal with these facts and simply look forward to the next beautiful moment, while dealing with demands that come our way. However, there are some couples that live in denial and paint a picture of a perfectly peaceful and blissful experience. It simply isn’t possible. No relationship with another human being will ever be perfect, because we are not perfect. It’s … Continue reading →

Coming Out and Being Honest

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I’ve spent the last 15 years underestimating a problem I have. Rather than confronting it, I believed ignoring it as in issue would make it go way. I struggle with obesity; I have an eating disorder. Unlike many other issues people struggle with, mine stands out obvious to anyone who sees me. It’s not that I’ve denied being overweight, it’s that I refused to make it an issue or define who I am. Instead I’ve tried to overcompensate, hoping to shine what’s inside me, that it might radiate and people wouldn’t notice my weight. I fear I’ve reached a point … Continue reading →

Home Study Denied!

For a person or couple who’ve been told they are unable to adopt through a particular agency, it can be devastating. Sometimes the fate of whether a couple will have children lies in the opinion of their assigned adoption worker. Just because a person is denied by an agency doesn’t always mean they will be denied for adoption altogether. For example: If you are hoping to adopt through your state’s foster system and your home study is denied because the adoption worker does not feel you will be best suited for one of their children, this does not mean that … Continue reading →

Attitudes Regarding State Adoptions: Part 2

In part one I shared some misconceptions and attitudes in regard to children adopted through the state. Here I’ll continue: Our child won’t have that ~ If you’re one of the few parents that gets your dream child that is beautiful, smart, fully compliant, then you best hit the slot machines as you are one lucky person! Parents who adopt older children especially are adopting not just the child, but the needs of the child that have to be addressed. Unfortunately, the state agency is not always aware of these needs prior to placement, either because they never got the … Continue reading →

Stages of Grief-Denial

The five stages of grief was made popular by Elisabeth Kubler-Ross In her book “On Death and Dying”, published in 1969. She presented 5 stages terminally ill persons may go through upon learning of their illness. It is now widely accepted that people can go through these stages of grief during other difficult times such as the death of a spouse, and divorce. Over the next few posts I will describe each of these stages from both a child and adult perspective along with potentially beneficial ways to work through that particular stage. These stages are not always experienced in … Continue reading →