Tag Archives: extended family

Home Study Interviews Part 1

When the application is complete, the references are in; the safety check is complete so now what? Now the fun begins! You will have a couple’s interview and an individual interview. When you process the application you will be asked to write letters individually about your spouse, your marriage, your extended family. In the letter they want to know about your spouse’s good features, and their bad ones. When the couple’s interview starts you will be asked about items that are in your letter. They will want to know who manages the money, which one makes the hard choices, who … Continue reading →

Do Holidays Always Include Extended Family?

My husband and I chose to spend Mother’s Day with his parents this year. They were willing to come to our house, which worked great for me, because our baby is always happier in the comfort of our home. While my daughter napped, my mother-in-law and I relaxed in front of the TV (finally, I was able to watch TLC instead of ESPN). Our husbands slaved away in the kitchen, working to prepare a delicious Mother’s Day meal. We admired the flowers we’d been given and enjoyed the feeling of putting our feet up. After lunch, the whole gang headed … Continue reading →

Three Generation Families do Better Financially… at what cost?

Findings from the November 2009 Journal of Families issues states that three generation households are better than two generation homes headed by a single parent. The reasoning behind this is that having the grandparents and parents share the financial burden of the home will keep children out of poverty. “Using data from the Survey of Income and Program Participation from 2001, the researchers found that the presence of just one grandparent makes the odds of living below the poverty line 80% lower than for children living without a grandparent, and children living with two grandparents are at an even greater … Continue reading →

Are Your Children Safe with Their Grandparents?

This past summer, my husband and I had to make the hard decision between ourselves that we would not leave our children alone in the care of their grandparents. I won’t go into details, but it became obvious to us that our children’s safety might be compromised, were they in the sole care of their grandparents. This wasn’t an easy decision to make, of course. Feeling would be hurt, and the matter had to be handled delicately. But, we feel that it was the best decision for our family and for the safety of our children. Depending on your situation, … Continue reading →

Attaching with Extended Family

Some adopted young adults say that although they felt a part of their immediate families, they never felt quite like “one of the clan” with their extended relatives. One adoptive mother theorizes that for relatives who live far apart, reunions tended to focus on genes and history, since relatives who had spent many years at a distance had few shared experiences to build a relationship on. Relatives commented on who had grown up to look like who, remembered family births, and told baby stories comparing new parents and their babies. This mother reported that her kids were likely to hear, … Continue reading →

Family Generations Ties and Boundaries

Family dynamics can be difficult when you are first married. You may find it is difficult to balance between the two extended families and the needs of your own family. As a parent to a newlywed you may be struggling with how to let your child go and how much is really healthy. This is a time when feelings can be easily hurt. It is important to remember that husband and wife should cleave together to begin their new family. One way that they do this is that they leave behind the old. This means a priority shift when it … Continue reading →

Asking for Help

In some ways, I think asking for help with the kids is harder for adoptive parents. We feel that we chose this, so we should be able to do it ourselves. Or we worry that others will think we shouldn’t have adopted. Or we are extra-sensitive about our self-image as parents, since we had to prove our parental fitness to outsiders in a way most parents do not. For me, our second adoption (third child) came after I had faced a health issue. I know that a couple of people in my family were worried about our taking this on … Continue reading →

Grandparents Have Paid their Dues

It is the prerogative of grandparents to spoil their grandchild because they do have to live with the consequences of spoiling them. Remember, your parents raised you or your spouse and they went through all the fussy times of coping with raising you. When a parent becomes a grandparent – they get to revel in the joy of all the fun without any of the hard times or the work. But there’s a balance that must be struck between parents and grandparents where babies are concerned – particularly if the spoiling they indulge your little one in is undermining your … Continue reading →

Living With and Loving the In-Laws

There are a lot of jokes about in-laws and how awful it is. There are lots of movies and television shows that emphasize the terror that are the in-laws. Monster-in-Law is one film that leaps to mind. Few of these address the positive relationship that can occur between in-laws. Flexible, But Firm Let’s talk a moment about why a negative relationship can occur between in-laws. First and foremost, a new spouse is not ‘stealing’ away an in-law’s child and they should never interfere in the relationship between parent and child. They should think, and think very deeply, how they would … Continue reading →

Family Reunions Important

Summer is coming up and if you’re like me that includes family reunions. This summer I am in charge of my husband’s family reunion. So I’ve decided to write a series of blogs on family reunions. These blogs will include organizing a family reunion, tips on having a successful family reunion, fun group games, things to do, and how to finance a family reunion. Family reunions are important. It used to be that most families lived within a few miles of each other. Children would grow up and marry someone who lived within the same town. Or parents would give … Continue reading →