Tag Archives: misbehavior

Conduct Unbecoming

Tyler has always excelled in his school work. So far he’s brought home nothing but A’s and I couldn’t be more pleased. The school he currently attends is a private Catholic school and their grading system is somewhat different from the public school grading system I’m familiar with. For instance, in order to get an A, you have to make 97. As I said, I am extremely satisfied with his academic performance. His conduct on the other hand, “needs improvement.” He started out fine but over the past two weeks his behavior has not been stellar. Each day his teacher … Continue reading →

Letting Kids Suffer The Natural Consequences of Misbehavior

Allowing our kids to suffer the natural consequences of their actions is an effective discipline technique. Like most parenting methods, the key to success is consistency. Last week Tyler decided to test me on not one but two occasions. I had to make a trip to Tennessee and while walking down the frozen food isle at Publix he decided this would be an ideal time to throw a tantrum. I politely informed him that if he didn’t stop he would get a spanking and not get any ice-cream. He decided he would not stop so I had to follow throw … Continue reading →

Sometimes, There’s More of a Reward for Misbehavior Than Good Behavior

The truth is, when children choose to repeat annoying or unsavory behavior, there is a reason. They are getting SOMETHING out of it. As parents, we try to influence them to give up the bad behavior–we may use positive rewards, take away privileges, etc. in an attempt to change the behavior, but if the child clings to the “bad” behavior then there is something more that he or she is getting from it than what we’ve been able to offer. This is where the investigative part of parenting comes in as we try to determine the motivation for the child’s … Continue reading →

Negative Reaction Addiction – Could Your Child Have It?

Regardless of your child’s diagnostic “label” (or lack thereof), if your son or daughter is persistently defiant and difficult, he or she might just have an addiction. In this case I’m not talking about a drug addiction, but an addiction to the negative reactions of others. In their book, Transforming the Difficult Child, Howard Glasser, MA, and Jennifer Easley, MA describe difficult children as being “literally addicted to negative reactions.” It sounds a little peculiar, but it makes sense. Some children continue to defy authority, rebel, throw tantrums, and do inappropriate things over and over again. (I’m referring to children … Continue reading →

Why Kids Misbehave

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Why do kids misbehave? This is the age-old question parents have asked themselves since the dawn of time. In, Raising Great Kids in a Tough World, four typical reasons kids misbehave are identified. They are for attention, power, revenge and assumed inadequacy. Attention Kids crave attention and don’t care if the attention is negative or positive. Kids may misbehave when there is a new sibling or when parents spend too much time working or in activities that exclude the child. Tyler has remarked to me several times that he wished I would get a “regular” job so that I don’t … Continue reading →

Sending Kids to Bed Early As Punishment

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How many times have you threatened to or sent your kids to bed early for misbehavior? I’ve done it a number of times and I’m sure some of you have done the same. Parents should not use an early bedtime (or nap) as punishment. I know many of you have bedtime challenges with your kids and sometimes sending them to bed early is the only thing you can do to keep your cool. According to famed pediatrician, T. Berry Brazelton, naps and bedtimes are challenging for kids because they have to separate from their parents and the rest of the … Continue reading →

Are You Punishing Yourself Along With Your Kids?

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How many times have you punished yourself right along with your kids? Sometimes it’s unavoidable. Suppose you’re out on the town and your child starts to misbehave, should you endure this misbehavior or leave? Most experts tell you to leave. However, is it fair to you or perhaps a sibling? Absolutely not. The entire family will suffer for the misbehavior of one. There’s ways around this, of course, although someone will still be unhappy. If you have a child who routinely misbehaves you can take separate cars and agree in advance that one parent will leave with the offending kid … Continue reading →

Pulling In the Reins

This blog is about letting your kids make their own decisions and solve their own issues. Not in the traditional sense, no this blog is not about letting your kids decide what they want to do with their life, or what clothes they want to wear. It’s about letting them choose solutions for their misbehavior. It’s called pulling in the reins and it is a part of a larger set of techniques that fall under the heading of you solve it, or I’ll solve it and you won’t like my solution. Kind of blunt, but it works. This technique is … Continue reading →

Dealing With Behavior Problems In Public

It seems to be an inescapable fact of life. When you take your child out in public, he will misbehave. Even kids who are generally well-behaved seem to act out sometimes when they are in public. It’s almost like they are daring you to do something. Many parents, embarrassed by public eyes, are hesitant to discipline their kids when they are out, for fear that others will think they are “bad” parents. Then there are parents like me. I believe that whatever discipline technique I use on Tyler at home, I will use it in public. Do you often find … Continue reading →

Week 7: 8 Weeks To A Well-behaved Child

We’re entering the home stretch! It’s week 7 of 8 Weeks To A Well-behaved Child. This week we learn how to remove rewards and privileges to eliminate serious misbehavior. Before we move on, let’s review last week. In week six we talked about using effective punishment to discourage problem behaviors. We talked about using punishment effectively as well as the proper way to use time-out. For homework we were supposed to use reprimands as a mild punishment and also use time-out to discourage a menacing behavior. How did you do? Me? With the holidays it was frantic at my house … Continue reading →