Tag Archives: narcissistic personality disorde

Should You Confront a Narcissist about their Narcissism?

This is a question I am often asked by clients who are dealing with a narcissist in their lives. The answer is: it depends. Should You Confront a Narcissist about their Narcissism? As a psychologist, I cannot tell a client what to do, they have to come to a decision about what to do about problems in their lives on their own and be comfortable with those decisions. But what I can do is point out the pros and cons of telling a person suffering from narcissistic personality disorder (NPD), and what effects that revelation can have on the client. … Continue reading →

Are You Breeding a Frankenkinder?

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A Frankenkinder is the 21st century version of a spoilt child – a monster created by the emotional neglect of its own parents. Yet these kids look far from neglected. They are dressed in designer clothes and have all the latest Playstation games and personal electronic gadgetry. They are wise beyond their years and yet are also extremely immature. So how did we end up with a generation of these kids? Looking through a recent catalogue in my mail box gave me some insight. There was bath oil on sale. No problem with that except there was also a special … Continue reading →

When Your Child’s Grandparent is a Narcissist

We have looked at many articles concerning what it is like to be the child of a narcissistic parent (see below). But what happens when you, the child of a narcissist, go on to have children of your own? How does having children influence your relationship with your narcissistic parent? Having children of your own is probably the biggest wake-up call you will ever have in your life. This applies to members of most dysfunctional families, but children of a narcissistic parent are particularly susceptible to feelings of doubt and insecurity about their own skills as a parent. Not having … Continue reading →

How a Narcissist Thinks

People who live, work or interact socially with a person who suffers from Narcissistic Personality Disorder are often at a loss as to the way in which the latter’s mind works. They are more than selfish, they appear to have little or no social conscience, yet on the other hand can exude a sense of charm that other, more normal people, could never compete with. So just what makes these people tick? People suffering from personality disorders in general have not gone through the same maturation processes that more well-balanced people normally do throughout the course of their childhood and … Continue reading →

Defending Yourself against the Aging Narcissist (2)

In the first article in this series (see link below) we looked at the first two tips for dealing with a parent with Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD). Today we continue with further aids for dealing with these damaging and difficult people. 3. Examine carefully all the achievements you have made in your life in spite of your background. Your achievements, your victories, your assets: you have attained all of them without the usual parental encouragement and assistance. In fact, you may well have been berated for your achievements or even hijacked temporarily by your parent in your journey to success. … Continue reading →

Defending Yourself Against the Aging Narcissist (1)

We’ve discussed in previous articles the many pitfalls of dealing with the aging narcissist, especially when the person concerned is a parent. There is an internal struggle familiar to adult children of narcissists and that is the need to treat their frail and aging parent in a humane way and yet a profound desire to maintain a sense of self and prevent further psychological harm to oneself. Here are some tips for dealing with this delicate dance between humanity and self-preservation: 1. Know your weaknesses. As discussed in previous articles, these may not be weaknesses at all, but rather psychological … Continue reading →

The Aging Narcissist (3)

It is tempting to make excuses for the behavior of an aging mother or father who may be living on their own with failing health. But in dealing with the aging narcissist, this normal sense of human compassion will be used as a tool by the narcissist to exploit and manipulate their well-meaning adult child. The aging narcissist has the same needs for respect and compassion as any elderly person. The problem is that the primary caregiver, often an adult child who has long suffered at the hands of this self-absorbed person, must cope with the increasing levels of narcissistic … Continue reading →

The Aging Narcissistic Parent (1)

In previous articles I have talked about many aspects of Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD). See the links below for further insights into this puzzling yet extremely damaging condition. In this series of articles, we will look further into the mind of a narcissist and will also address ways for the adult child of a narcissist to deal with the challenges before them. To survive in an environment dominated and controlled by a narcissist, you need to be aware of your own weaknesses, i.e. the way your narcissistic parent manipulates you. I have called this characteristic a “weakness,” but under normal … Continue reading →

Escaping the Trap of the Narcissistic Mother

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In Dealing with a Narcissistic Mother, we looked at how 39-year-old Elinor was still caught up in a desperate game of trying to win the love and approval of her mother, who suffered from Narcissistic Personality Disorder. When Elinor came in for therapy she was sad, slightly depressed and full of rage for a mother who just could not give her the love and approval that Elinor wanted. Although Elinor had a loving husband, and two wonderful children, she was not happy. This is not unusual when basic childhood needs such as love and approval have not been delivered to … Continue reading →