Tag Archives: peers

When a Child Argues with Peers

Many of us have this idyllic vision of childhood friends—we picture our child wandering off into the field hand-in-hand with a best friend—happy, giggling, and best friends forever. The reality, however, is that children argue and fight too. Inviting a friend over for a play date can turn into a bicker-fest. As the parent in charge, is there anything we can do to cut back on the arguing or help our child learn how to communicate in other ways? First of all, arguing is not all bad. Sometimes, our child is working out all sorts of things in those arguments … Continue reading →

When Siblings Have Shared Friends

If your children are like mine and they are close together in age, one of the “bonuses” is that they may very well move in the same social circles and interact with some of the same peer group. Some kids really like this, while others may want to have their very own friends that they don’t have to share. In my own family, we have been through “stages”—there was a period around the middle school years where my kids really needed to separate and carve out their own identities and this meant having their own friends too. Overall, however, there … Continue reading →

The Heritage Report, Continued

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In my last blog I shared that my eight-year-old has to write a report on a country in our family heritage. Our family contains seven different ethnic heritages (that we know about), but Meg herself is Korean. She’s talking about doing Canada for the report. While my husband’s family name is French-Canadian in origin, his family moved to New England generations ago, and of all the heritages Meg could choose from, that’s probably the one we have the least family ties to. (I guess she could write that my Yankee in-laws can distinguish half a dozen grades and shades of … Continue reading →

When Children Reach the “Club” Stage

Think back to your own childhood…do you remember the constant starting and creating of “clubs”—secret clubs with passwords and charters and all sorts of membership requirements? Some of our childhood clubs are rather elaborate and others have a more “impromptu” feel. I remember the very old children’s program “The Little Rascals” where the young boys had very established meetings of the “He-Man Woman-Haters Club.” While this is considered pretty politically incorrect these days, it is still a great example of the age and developmentally-appropriate stage of “clubs.” Somewhere around first or second grade, it seems, clubs become a big deal. … Continue reading →

When Others Don’t Approve

No matter what you do in life, it seems like you encounter someone who does not approve of what you are doing. Adoption is no exception. It seems like everyone has an opinion and some of them aren’t very positive. We have been in the process of adoption for 9 months and while most of the people we have encountered have been very positive, we have also run into people who thought it was a bad idea. It is hard to know what to do or what to say when you encounter opposition. By the time you make the decision … Continue reading →

Do Parents Matter?

I recently read an article that discussed the book “The Nurture Assumption” in which the author Judith Harris claimed that, “parents have little or no influence over the long-term development of their children’s personality.” Instead she claims that a child’s personality is shaped by the experiences that occur outside the home, mainly by their friends. Any similarity between parent and child was because of “shared genes and a shared culture.” In response the National Institute of Child Health and Human Development put together a conference out of which came a book edited by Drs. John Borkowski and Sharon Ramey titled … Continue reading →

Encourage Your Teen (or Pre-Teen) to be a Peer Tutor!

Do you have (or know) a fabulous teen? The kind of kid who sets an example for others, who is genuinely good-natured, hard-working, and just…well, terrific? I urge you to encourage him or her to be a peer tutor. What is a peer tutor? Peer tutoring is a marvelous program where students who do not have disabilities lend a helping hand to those who do. Most schools that mainstream special education students provide this opportunity. Peer tutors act as assistants, helping disabled students get to their classes, follow class instruction, and stay on task. They “model” appropriate behaviors, like sitting … Continue reading →

She’s only 5 and Feeling the Stress!

My oldest is in Kindergarten, in a program for what they used to officially call “gifted” children. The teacher says she’s terrific and a fast learner. She grasps concepts quickly and knows how to apply them. She’s also well-behaved in class and works well with her peers. And she’ll probably end up experimenting with cigarettes at 13! Okay, I hope not. But the other day she did not want to go to school. She was crying about it. When my wife spoke to her in the car, she finally got the explanation. The kids write little stories in class and … Continue reading →

Play Dates Can Benefit Your Special Needs Child

Arranging play dates can be extremely beneficial to your special-needs child. A playmate who doesn’t have a developmental delay can be an excellent model for age-appropriate behavior. Especially when there are no siblings of similar age in the home, your child will benefit from watching peers cooperate and communicate. What doesn’t come naturally for your child can be learned through repetitive play. The earlier your child learns appropriate social behaviors, the better. Elicit Help from Friends and Family Contact family members or friends who have interactive children your child’s age. Explain that your child needs play time with peers who … Continue reading →