Tag Archives: personal growth

Do Your Current Coping Strategies Actually Work?

You may think that you have good coping mechanisms and skills to handle stress, tension, anxiety, loneliness or any other myriad issues that come up for the average single parent—but just because you have coping strategies, does not mean that they are the healthiest way to face things. They might be outdated or no longer useful. Maybe it is time to see if there isn’t a better way that you can handle the realities of your single parent life? It might help to remember that the coping strategies that “work” for us when we are younger, may not still work … Continue reading →

Fill in the Gaps

There are always gaps and unfinished business in any family—regardless of whether you are a two parent family or a single parent family. I do think, however, that healing and getting stabilized after a separation, divorce, or death (or other family crisis) gives us the opportunity to figure out what those gaps are, and then work to fill things in and heal our family situations. Gaps can be major—estranged relationships, neglect, etc. or they might be seemingly minor—the need to get to the dentist or clean out the garage. There are always areas of unfinished business but the more we … Continue reading →

Our Children as Mirrors

I often write about how parenting has expanded my life in more ways than I ever dreamt possible. One of the ways that parenting has changed me and my life is that my children have served as mirrors for me—mirrors of my values, my personal communication style, my flaws and mistakes. Sometimes, I see things in myself because of how my children parrot my sayings and philosophies and other times, I can see myself in my children glaring back at me. While we are busy trying to guide and shape our children, many of us discover that our children serve … Continue reading →

A Chance to Improve Your Social and Personal Skills

I don’t mean to seem like an overly-optimistic Pollyanna, but there really are all sorts of personal development opportunities that come with life as a single parent. One is that we have the chance to expand and improver our social and personal skills in ways we might not if we are partnered or married. Think of it–as a partnered parent, you don’t have to reach out to the outer world as often and don’t have to ask for help, look for alternative ways to deal with transportation, child care, social activities, etc. I know that as a single parent, I … Continue reading →

Denial and The Single Parent

You may know by now that denial is an amazingly powerful survival tool. Like many human coping mechanisms, it is not one of those things that is inherently good or bad, but, instead, is a survival skill that has its place. As single parents, we may find ourselves utilizing denial to help us through a particularly difficult time, but at some point, we do have to learn how to process and let go of all that denial. Denial can show its face in many forms–in thinking that we will get back together with an ex who has left or abandoned … Continue reading →

Answering Questions: Change is Inevitable

I’ve talked about change here plenty of times and I’ve said that change is inevitable. We all change. We all make different decisions and do different things. But I saw a question posted to one of my blogs on Marriage and Religion that made me do some thinking. I suppose I could go and just answer the question in the comments, but I wanted to really focus my answer – so the question was: I need some good advice. My husband and I have both grown up in the same religion, and even married in it. Recently, he told me … Continue reading →

Acceptance Leads to Changes

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We cannot change anything unless we accept it. Condemnation does not liberate, it oppresses. – Carl Jung When it comes to planning a lifestyle change that includes a new diet and fitness regimen, you need to accept the way you are before you can change it. How can you accept it and change it at the same time? It sounds pretty tricky, but the thing is – once you accept the way you are – changing it is a far easier process than ever before. When it comes to our bodies, we want to change or modify what we don’t … Continue reading →

Please Understand

Another topic that popped up in a different conversation I was having a few days ago was the melding of two lives in the bonds of holy matrimony. Sometimes that isn’t so easy when one person has been raised with one understanding of the patriarchal role and the other raised in another way. Let me begin with the quote of a prophet to set the tone of this blog: President Spencer W. Kimball said this: “When we speak of marriage as a partnership, let us speak of marriage as a full partnership. We do not want our LDS women to … Continue reading →