Tag Archives: punishment

Timing Is Everything… Or Is It?

Racing against the clock is a futile exercise most parents endure while raising children. If time kicks your butt getting out the door in the morning, consider the consequences if you choose to ignore it when disciplining your kids. To be effective, discipline must immediately follow a child’s transgression… or so claims numerous childhood experts. Easy enough if you are dealing with a toddler whose actions are fairly simple to monitor.  Not so when your kids hit an age when they would rather you not be a constant presence in their lives. Or present at all. Parents of school age … Continue reading →

Discipline When You’re The Only Parent

I’ve been a single parent for the past six years. One of the many things I’ve discovered along this path is that discipline is really tough to balance out when you’re the only parent in the household. Most couples will admit that there’s always a good cop/bad cop way of enforcing rules in the family. In my marriage I was the good cop and their father was the bad cop. (He was too bad in various ways, which is why we parted ways.) When I found myself a single parent with five daughters to guide and keep in line when … Continue reading →

Extreme Punishments

Note to angry parents: Shaving off your kid’s hair to punish her for shoplifting is NOT a good idea. Just ask Ajpacaja-Ajiataz. The Florida dad claims he lost it when he heard that his tween daughter stole jewelry from the local Wal-Mart, and then used a Game Boy without permission, so he did what any angry parent would do… first he hit her with a belt and then he shaved off all her hair. For the record, the 34-year-old father denies using a belt on his 11-year-old daughter, though he did admit that he cut off her locks in a … Continue reading →

Was This Mom Too Harsh?

There’s a healthy debate going on in cyberspace right now regarding a California mom, who decided to put her own spin on her son’s DUI arrest. The incident started when the woman’s 16-year-old son decided to engage in some underage drinking at a friend’s house. Said teen, then decided to get behind the wheel of his mother’s car and drive home in the early morning hours, when he thought police wouldn’t be patrolling. Unbeknownst to the inebriated teen, 2 a.m. is when the majority of cops are on the lookout for reckless drivers. According to police reports, an officer saw … Continue reading →

Punishing Your Cat

Let me say right off the bat that I’m a big believer in positive reinforcement. We’d all much rather be praised than punished, right? This holds true for our pets, too. In short, positive reinforcement means praising and/or rewarding your pet immediately after a good behavior. This teaches them to do the good things you want them to do. Your praise or reward encourages them to repeat the behavior. Sometimes, we lash out when we see a negative behavior. This could be anything from a cry of dismay, yelling the cat’s name, or a tap on the nose. We do … Continue reading →

How Do You Punish Your Spouse for Bad Behavior?

Do you even punish your spouse for bad behavior? I’m not talking about major felonies, but minor misdemeanors. The times when they’re being PIAs (Pain in the A–) as my friend Roxanne likes to say. In 20 plus years of marriage can you believe it wasn’t until last week that it even occurred to me I had the power to punish Wayne? (By “power” I mean a threat I could wield to make him snap back in line.) The “Do” that Ignited the First Shot It all started in the morning. I guess I woke up with a wild hair … Continue reading →

Try Not to Use a Babysitter as Punishment

The other day, I was out and about and I heard a harried mother threaten: “Next time, you don’t get to come with me, you’ll have to stay home with a babysitter!” She spat out the word babysitter like she was threatening shackles and chains. This got me to thinking about what a treat it was for my own kids when they “got” to have a sitter–instead of presenting it as punishment, we always viewed it as a special date when the kids would get to “play” with the sitter and get a break from Mom! Babysitters have trouble enough … Continue reading →

Sending Kids to Bed Early As Punishment

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How many times have you threatened to or sent your kids to bed early for misbehavior? I’ve done it a number of times and I’m sure some of you have done the same. Parents should not use an early bedtime (or nap) as punishment. I know many of you have bedtime challenges with your kids and sometimes sending them to bed early is the only thing you can do to keep your cool. According to famed pediatrician, T. Berry Brazelton, naps and bedtimes are challenging for kids because they have to separate from their parents and the rest of the … Continue reading →

Are You Punishing Yourself Along With Your Kids?

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How many times have you punished yourself right along with your kids? Sometimes it’s unavoidable. Suppose you’re out on the town and your child starts to misbehave, should you endure this misbehavior or leave? Most experts tell you to leave. However, is it fair to you or perhaps a sibling? Absolutely not. The entire family will suffer for the misbehavior of one. There’s ways around this, of course, although someone will still be unhappy. If you have a child who routinely misbehaves you can take separate cars and agree in advance that one parent will leave with the offending kid … Continue reading →

How To: Use Consequences To Change Behavior

One problem we parents have is that we sometimes try to change our children’s behavior through screaming, yelling, nagging, punishing and other techniques that simply don’t work. A better way to change many behaviors is through the use of consequences. Consequences are generally logical or natural. A logical consequence is one that happens as a result of human intervention. If you speed and a policeman stops and gives you a ticket, then that’s a logical consequence of breaking the law. If your child does not do is science fair project, then his teacher will give him a failing grade. That’s … Continue reading →